My old pal Larry Groce (Mountain Stage) wrote this one. He sings so beautifully that he figured this silly song was just a throw-away, but I got his permission to record it and when Dr. Demento started getting airplay with my version, ... Larry went out and recorded it and got his first hit record! Still relevant and funny after many, many years!
JUNKFOOD JUNKIE
Well you know I love that organic cookin’
I always ask for more
They call me Mr. Natural
On down to the health food store
Yeah, I only eat good sea-salt
White sugar don’t touch my lips
And my friends is always beggin’ me to take ’em
On macro-biotic trips
But at night I take down my strongbox
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to the closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that lid so slowly
Take a peek up North and South
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it into my mouth!
Cho: In the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junkfood junkie
Good Lord have pity on me!
Well at lunch time you can find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just suckin’ on my plain white yogurt
From a hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin’ little hand-pressed cider
With a carrot stick for desert
And wipin’ my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt!
But when that clock strikes midnight
And I’m all by myself
I’m a-workin’ that combination
On my secret hide-away shelf
I take out my Fritos Corn Chips
Doctor Pepper and an Old Moon Pie,
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high!
(Chorus)
My friends down at the commune
They think I’m pretty neat
Well I don’t know nothin’ ’bout arts and crafts
But I give ’em all something to eat
I’m a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat home grown spice
I got a John Keats autograph Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
But lately I’ve been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumblin’ into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I’m afraid some day they’ll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringle’s Potato Chips
And a Ding-Dong by my head!
Chorus
Written by Larry Groce, © 1975, Peaceable Kingdom
On Peter Alsop – www.peteralsop.com
(capo-4)
C
F-C
C-C/B-A7
D7-G
C
F-C
C-C/B-A7
D7-G-C
Am
Dm-Am
Am
B7-E
Am
Dm-Am
C-C/B-A7
D7-G-C
F-C
G-C
C-C/B-Am
E7-Am, C-E7-Am, G-G7