Breaking Up with a Computer
I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND DEAR
For years I’ve been watchin’ folks on the T.V.
Sometimes it seemed they were more real than me
Then I met you computer, you wanted my touch
Y’gave me the ‘control’ that I needed so much!
Cho: I hope you understand Dear, you’ll forgive me, I know
Y’follow ev’ry ‘command’ Dear, but I’m going back home!
There was something attractive ’bout your organized mind
I turned you on and our lives intertwined
I spent so much time sittin’, just gazing at you
That my wife, she suspected and my kids, they did too!
Well we didn’t try t’hide it, we started ‘scrollin’ around
We’d go out on ‘datas’ and you’d never ‘go down’
So I knew you meant business, that you weren’t the cheap kind
But I need some body, Darlin’, not just some mind!!
My wife and kids miss me, 'n heck, you never smile,
So I’m goin’ back dear, t’start a new ‘file’!
Now the thrill is all gone, so it’s not worth the risk
And it’s tough to play games with an old ‘floppy disk’
Chorus: I hope you understand Dear, you’ll forgive me, I know
I need someone with hands Dear, so I’m going back home!!
But back home in the bedroom, my life was a wreck!
My wife was in bed, with ‘mega-bytes’ on her neck!
‘Warm boots’ in the hall, ‘Wordstars’ in her eyes,
A ‘User-friendly’ computer lyin’ there on her thighs!
(Spoken: I couldn’t ‘cursor’ for that, so I said,)
Chorus: I hope you understand Dear, and you’ll forgive me,
’Cause this ‘terminal illness’ has been wrecking our home!!!
I hope you understand Dear, ’cause I love you so much!
So let’s write some new programs, that’ll keep us in touch!
I hope you understand Dear, and you’ll forgive me, I know!
You’re just right for this man Dear, so I’m comin’ back home!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©Copyright 1985, Moose School Music (BMI)
(key change to D) -A7