WHA’D’YA WANNA DO? BUY IT NOW!!
Wha’D’Ya Wanna Do? I Am A Pizza
I Wanna Be A Dog (Barry Louis Polisar) No One Knows For Sure
Charlie Douglas Don’t Trick Your Dad
Slap Hands Be Gentle Robin (Tedd Judd)
Sandwiches (Bob King) My Body
My Brother Threw Up On You Get A Little Extra
My Stuffed Toy Bunny When You Watch TV
(Barry Louis Polisar)
Why can't Mommy take me to the beach?
Why Can't Daddy peel me a peach?
Why Can't Grandma take me to the zoo?
I'm just a little kid and there's nothing here to do!
No one ever plays with me
I'm bored, bored, bored!
And my little sister Willow is bored too!
No one ever plays with me
I'm bored, bored, bored!
How come everyone but Willow
Has got something else to do!?
Where is George, my Bassett hound?
When I need him, he's nowhere to be found
If I had food, he'd come running like a fool
Slobbering all over me with Bassett hound drool!
Chorus
Why did Hannah have to go to camp?
Why did Tommy have to have a cramp?
Why did Eric have to have the mumps?
It's all their fault, that I have got the grumps!
Chorus
All my toys have gone to bed
All my books have all been read
All my games have all been played (sigh!)
I'm stuck with Willow, I'm afraid,
Chorus
"C'mon Willow, Hey! I've got an idea! You take THIS end of the toilet paper
and walk very slowly down the hall and out the front door, and I'll stay here
and count the squares! Okay?! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7, NOT SO FAST!! 8, - 9 – 10 - "
Written by Peter Alsop, © 1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
WHA'D'YA WANNA DO?
Wha'd'ya want, wha'd'ya want,
Wha'd'ya wanna do?
Try t'think of something
And I will too!
Let's make a fort, with cushions from the couch!
You hide inside and act like a grouch
I'll hide outside and act like a giraffe
And crash my head into the fort to make you laugh!
Chorus
Let's bake a cake! Invent a special treat!
Apples and chocolate, something good to eat!
Mashed potatoes, lemon yoghurt, pickles, liverwurst,
Cheerios, tomato sauce, you have to taste it first!
Chorus
Let's find the cat, then we can find some tape!
I'll close the doors so she can't escape!
Paints and scissors and some old cardboard
When Mom and Dad get home they'll find a tiny dinosaur!
Spoken: (Meeeooww!! Well, there goes another good idea out the window!)
Chorus
Let's take a bath! Pretend we're on a boat!
Here comes a big storm, we'll never stay afloat!
Splash out the water, our lives are at stake,
Now we're empty, but the bathroom is a lake!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
I WANNA BE A DOG
by Barry Louis Polisar
Oh I wanna be a dog
I wanna wag my tail
Chase cars and knock over garbage cans
Bite the lady who brings the mail!
Oh I wanna be a dog
I wanna drool on the floor
Get pats on the head, chase cats, get fed
Chew your shoes and bark at the door!
Oh I wanna be a dog
I wanna dig big holes
I wanna sniff French Poodles and Bassett Hounds
And pee on telephone poles!
Oh I wanna be a dog
I wanna big wet nose
I wanna run in the street, get mud on my feet
Then jump up onto your clothes!
Oh I wanna have dog-breath!
I wanna learn to growl
Scratch fleas and ticks, and run after sticks
I want the moon to make me hooooooooooowl!
Oh I wanna be a dog
I wanna sleep on the ground
Bein' human these days is gettin' too crazy
I just wanna be a hound!
Written by BarryLouis Polisar ©1979, Rainbow Morning Music
Additional lyrics by Peter Alsop
CHARLIE DOUGLAS
Charlie Douglas is a music man!
Charlie Douglas plays while ev'rybody dances!
Charlie Douglas is a music man . . .
No one else can play as well as Charlie Douglas can!
Written by Peter Alsop, © 1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
SLAP HANDS
Slap hands! (Slap hands!) C'mon give me five!
Slap hands! (Slap hands!) Ev'rything's alright!
Slap hands! (Slap hands!) C'mon give me five!
Slap hands! (Slap hands!) Ev'rything's alright!
If there's a bear in his underwear
Who sez "I'm gonna eat you!"
Just slap his paw
Say "Hey you'all!
I'm mighty pleased t'meet you!" (Whack!)
Chorus
If there's a shark in the dark
Don't be scared an' cry
Slap her fin and
Make her grin, . .
Maybe she's just shy! (Whack!)
Chorus
Ant works hard all summer long
She can't stop t'sing a song
Grasshopper helps her along
By playin' on his fiddle
Then when winter snows come round
Ant continues underground
And she invites the Hopper down
So the snow won't make him brittle (Snap!)
Chorus
When someone needs a helpin' hand
Sometimes they upset you
Just let them know you understand
You'll both be glad, I'll bet you!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
SANDWICHES
by Bob King
Sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine
I like sandwiches, I eat them all the time
I eat them for my supper, and I eat them for my lunch
If I had a hundred sandwiches, I'd eat them all at once!
I'm a-roamin' and a-ramblin', and wanderin' alone
And if you care to listen I will sing a happy song!
I will not ask a favor and I will not ask a fee
But if you have yourself a sandwich, won't you give a bite to me!?
Chorus
Once I went to England, I visited the Queen
She served the smallest sandwiches that I have ever seen
I told her for a shilling I'd be willing to eat more
So she handed me the smallest one and threw me out the door!
Chorus
Once I met an old man, he had a loaf of bread
He saw that I had tuna fish, he looked at me and said
"Your tuna fish is lonely, and my slice of bread is bare,
But we could have some sandwiches if you would care to share!" I said,
Chorus
Now a sandwich may be egg or cheese, or even peanut butter
But they all taste so good to me, it really doesn't matter
Ham or jam or cucumber, any kind will do
I like sandwiches, how 'bout you?
Chorus
If I had a hundred sandwiches, I'd eat them all at once!
Written by Bob King, ©1980, Armchair Music (CAPAC)
additional lyrics by Peter Alsop
MY BROTHER THREW-UP ON MY STUFFED TOY BUNNY
by Barry Louis Polisar
My brother threw-up on my stuffed toy bunny
You better not laugh ‘cause it really isn't funny
It was lying in my bed while I was sound asleep
But it could have been worse, yeah, it could have been me!
My bunny's name was Bill and he was pink and white
His eyes were purple and they glowed at night
His ears were ragged and his his nose was red
He was soft as my pillow from his paws to his head
And then,
Chorus
Well Dad tried to help when I started to scream
He threw my bunny in the washing machine
But my bunny Bill still smells so bad
And I lost the best friend that a kid ever had
Because,
Chorus
My bunny now sits on my shelf at home
Next to my smelly toy telephone
And the dirty old bear with the stains and the spots
Cause my little brother throws-up alot! Yeah,
Chorus
Written by Barry Louis Polisar, ©1977 Rainbow Morning Music (BMI)
YECCH!!
Yecch! (Yecch!) Yecch! (Yecch!)
THAT is soooo disgusting!
Yecch! (Yecch!) Yecch! (Yecch!)
It's half-way decomposed!
Yecch! (Yecch!) Yecch! (Yecch!)
THAT is soooo disgusting!
Yecch! (Yecch!) Yecch! (Yecch!)
It's really, really GROSS!
Touch it first, I dare you
Go on, poke it with a stick!
Look out, 'cause it might SCARE YOU!!
Eeeyeucch! I'm going to be sick!
Chorus
You broke the mucous lining,
It's oozing greenish juice!
It smells decayed and slimy
LOOK OUT!! I think it's loose! IT MOVED!
OH NO! It's glaumbing toward us!
It's sucking for your shoe!
It's a snot Tyrannosaurus!!
DON'T LET IT GET ON YOU!!!
Chorus
That putrid rot is growing!
Maybe we'd better run,
Hey c'mon! I'm only fooling,
And we're having so much fun!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
I AM A PIZZA
I am a pizza
With extra cheese
From tomatoes
Sauce is squeezed
Garlic and mushrooms
Oregano!!
I am a pizza, ready to go!
I am a pizza
Pepperoni
No anchovies
Or phoney balogna
Onions and sausage
Order by phone!
I am a pizza, take me home!
(Bubbling in oven!)
I am a pizza
With fresh baked crust!
I am a pizza, ready to bust!
I am a pizza
Peppers on top
Out of the oven
Into the box
Into the car and
Upside-down!
I am a pizza, dropped on the ground!
I was a pizza
I was the best!
I was a pizza, now I'm a mess!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE
There's a camel in the desert
Who could really use a drink
Her hump is all dried up
And her name's Irene, I think
If she doesn't get some water
Or some juice or soda soon
I don't think she'll last much longer
I don't think she'll last til noon
And the sun is burning brightly
And the desert sand's so hot
And Irene's so awfully thirsty
She might die right on the spot!
Chorus
But no one knows for sure
Something might come along
That could save the day and help her out
And fix whatever's wrong.
Cause no one knows for sure
We've still got time to hope
And Irene might see a giant milkshake
Over the next slope!!
(Well, she might if she keeps walking!)
Cause no one knows for sure
No one knows for sure!
There's a monkey named McCaffree
Who's lived a long, long time
And he's got a broken tail
That makes it pretty hard to climb,
So he's careful in the jungle
When he climbs where monkeys go
But he missed a vine and fell into
The river down below!
And the crocodiles surround him
And McCaffree, he can't swim
And he's driftin' toward the waterfall
Guess that's the last we'll see of him!
Chorus
And McCaffree might see Wonder Woman
And she might have her rope!
(‘Cause she usually caries one with her, doesn't she!)
And no one knows for sure
No one knows for sure!
There's a highway by the river
Where a little toad named Russell
Has hopped out in the middle
Now he's too scared t'move a muscle
He's afraid because the cars there
Sound like giant, angry ducks
And 'cause other toads who crossed that road
Got flattened out by trucks!
I guess Russell's in big trouble
It must be awful for that toad
If a bus comes, our friend Russ might be
A waffle in the road!
Chorus
And Russell might just hustle
Then he won't have to croak!
(And he might hop any minute now!)
'Cause no one knows for sure
No one knows for sure!
There's a kid I know named Evelyn
One of my favorite friends
And they put her in the hospital
For testing once again
And the Doctors and the grown ups
Well they were sad when they were through
They told her she was very sick
No one knew what to do
To make her feel better
So she could run and play
And Evelyn knew that she might die
But she'd look at me and say!
Chorus
That could save the day and help me out
And fix whatever's wrong.
Cause no one knows for sure
We've still got time to hope
And maybe Dr. Seuss and me'll invent
A Super-Dooper kind of soap!
(And I’d wash behind my ears even!)
Cause no one knows for sure
No one knows for sure
No one knows for sure!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
DON'T TRICK YOUR DAD!
I caught a frog
I knew what to do
I put it in Dad's shoe!
When he got dressed
(What a surprise!)
Boy! He jumped a mile!
(Opened up his eyes!)
I really laughed but he didn't smile! So,
Chorus:
Don't trick your Dad
(Don't trick your Dad!)
If you fool him he'll get mad
(Don't trick)
Don't trick your Dad
Or he'll get mad!
I told my Pop
He could have a kiss
(He turned his cheek!)
I licked him like a fish!
(You left a streak!)
He was upset
(You tricked him bad!)
Told me to leave
(Don't trick your Dad!)
He wiped his wet face on his sleeve! So,
Don't lick your Dad
(Don't like your Dad!)
If you fool him he'll get mad
(Don't lick!)
Don't lick your Dad
Or he'll get mad!
Ooo-ooo, don't lick your Dad, ooo!
Ooo-ooo, don't trick your Dad, ooo!
So if y'feel like foolin'
Remember this one rule, an'
Don't blow your father's cool,
Just remember he loves you!!
At supper time,
(What did you do?)
I went too far, I told my Dad
"Mommy wrecked the car!"
(Ooh no!!)
He choked on his food,
(Asparagus!)
He got all red!
(Oh, what a fuss!)
I said "April Fool's" he said "Go to bed!"
Remember that he loves you,
(Even when he's mad!)
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
BE GENTLE, ROBIN!
by Tedd Judd
Robin and I went out for a walk
And what do you think we saw
We saw a pretty pussy cat
A-lickin' at her paw
And Robin went over to play with her
To pat her on the head
But first I grabbed him by the hand
And this is what I said,
Be gentle, Robin!
Don't SQUEEZE the pussy cat's head!
Be gentle, Robin!
Just pet her nice instead!
And after a while we were walkin' along
And we saw a little boy
And in his hands, as pleased as punch
He held a brand new toy
And Robin went over to say "Hello!"
To see if he was nice
But first I grabbed him by the hand
And I gave hime this advice,
Be gentle, Robin!
Don't PULL the little boy's hair!
Be gentle, Robin!
Remember you should share!
And after a while we were walkin' along
Now whadda you think of that?
We saw a great big rich lady
In a funny looking hat!
And Robin went over to say "Hello!"
Without a trace of fear
So first I grabbed him by the hand
And I whispered in his ear, I said,
Be gentle, Robin!
Don't LAUGH, or POINT, or SQUEAL!
Be gentle, Robin!
Just think how you would feel!
And after a while we were walkin' on home
And talkin' about our day
And all the things we'd seen and done
And passed along the way
And Robin, he took me by the hand
And boy! my face was red!
He gave me a good talkin' to
And this is what he said,
Be gentle, Daddy!
Don't TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Be gentle, Daddy!
Then I'll grow up like you!
Written by Tedd Judd, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
MY BODY
My body's nobody's body but mine!
You run your own body, let me run mine!
My nose was made to sniff and to sneeze
To smell what I want, and to pick when I please!
[or - To smell what I want, and to blow when I please!]
My lungs were made to hold air when I breathe,
I am in charge of just how much I need!
My legs were made to dance me around
To walk and to run and to jump up and down!
My mouth was made to blow-up a balloon
I can eat, kiss and spit, I can whistle a tune!
[or - I can eat, kiss and sing, I can whistle a tune!]
No one knows my body better than me
It tells me, "Let's eat!", it tells me "Go pee!"
Don't hit me or kick me, don't push or shove
Don't hug me too hard when you show me your love
Sometimes it's hard to say "No!" and be strong
When those"No!" feelings come, then I know something's wrong
'Cause My body's mine from my head to my toe
Please leave it alone when you hear me say "No!"
Secrets are fun when they're filled with surprise
But not when they hurt us with tricks, threats and lies
Our body's one body, one voice is heard
We each sing for freedom when we sing these words!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
additional lyrics by Green Thumb Theatre
YOU GET A LITTLE EXTRA WHEN YOU WATCH T.V.
You get a little extra when you watch T.V.
Ain't that ducky!
Well you're lucky if you see that
You get a little extra when you watch T.V.!
You sit too close and you get a big surprise
Lots of radiation in your body and your eyes
Your eardrums hum when someone turns it up too high,
When you watch T.V.!
We learn lots about our bodies and our aches and pains,
Headaches, hemorrhoids, heartburn, diarrhea, denture stains
Gotta buy more drugs t'stop your stresses and your strains
When you watch T.V. !
Chorus
When someone in an advertisement tells me lies
I jump up and switch the channels, and I get some exercise
So my body's getting healthy and my mind is getting wise
When I watch T.V.!
Daddies only love the Mommies when the dirt's all gone
From their shirts and shiny floors, the coffee has t'be right on,
I'm so glad my Dad's not fussy, cause he'd leave my Mom,
If he watched T.V.!
Chorus
In real life it never works when people go
And hit and kick and punch and smash each other's heads and toes
But it always solves the problems on the cartoon shows
When you watch T.V.!
Last night on the highway when our car got stalled
We saw a bloody accident with bodies that were mauled
Though my folks got sick, it didn't bother me at all.
Cause I watch T.V.!
Chorus
If you think that I am lazy, don't you call me names
I have learned important skills from playing video games
If a spaceship should attack me I could shoot 'em down in flames,
Cause I watch T.V.!
And a big T.V. can really give you quite a rest
If you get one near your bed, you've got no reason to get dressed
You never have to talk to anyone, your life is a success
When you watch T.V.!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)