Uniforms

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Gary Wall Uniforms

It’s Only A Wee-Wee So What’s The Big Deal? Buddies

Buckdancer’s Daddy Hopelessly Heterosexual

Look At The Ceiling Dancin’ At The Revolution

Love Is The Only Medicine So Long

Baby Needs A Parent

GARY WALL

Well my name is Gary Wall and I’m no one very special

Just a short-order cook, and I’m forty years old

And I drifted all my life from job to job

But this livin’ all alone can make a man feel cold.

And the walls have ears, from listenin’ to me talkin’

It’s been years since I had reason, t’get up out of bed

Then the paper caught my eye, “Be a foster parent!”

“Somebody needs you!” is what it said.

So I opened up my place for some kids to live

Some stayed awhile, and some ran away

Hard-luck kids when they had any luck at all

But my house became a home where kids could stay

One tough little nine-year old and I did fine

But when I wanted to adopt him, the courts said “NO!”

Cause I had no wife, still we loved each other,

I made him a promise that I’d never go.

I fought in the court, they made me study at the college

I took auto parts and math and my requirement in gym

Two years of never knowin’ was hard on me

But my kid was just a kid and it was worse on him.

Ev’ry night I punched the clock at the local diner

And we kept on swimmin’ in the court’s red-tape

Til seventeen thousand people from the town

Wrote a letter to the judge, who said “Okay”

Well my name is Gary Wall and I’m no one very special

And I eat my own cookin’ so I’m overweight

But now I got a kid, and he’s got me

And it’s a whole lot nicer to get up and face the day!!

IT’S ONLY A WEE-WEE, SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

As soon as you’re born grown-ups check where you pee

And then they decide just how you’re s'posed t'be

Girls pink and quiet, boys noisy and blue

Seems like a dumb way to choose what you’ll do...

It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s the big deal?

It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s all the fuss?

It’s only a wee-wee, and everyone’s got one

There’s better things to discuss!!

Now girls must use make-up, girls' names and girls' clothes

And boys must use sneakers, but not panty hose

The grown-ups will teach you the rules to their dance,

And if you get confused, they’ll say “Look in your pants!”

Chorus

If I live to be nine, I won’t understand

Why grown-ups are to’tly obsessed with their glands

If I touch myself, . . “Don’t you do that!” I’m told,

And they treat me like I might explode!

Chorus

Grown-ups watch closely each move that we make

Boys must not cry, and girls must make cake

It’s all very formal, and I think it smells

Let’s all be abnormal and act like ourselves!!

Chorus

(Adult verse & chorus)

She walked to the market past brave cavaliers

She tried to avoid them, they whistled and jeered

She gave them the finger, they gave her more noise

She stopped and she sang to those bright little boys, . .

It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s the big deal?

It’s only a wee-wee, so why do you watch?

It’s only a wee-wee, and everyone’s got one

There’s more to life than your crotch!!

BUCKDANCER’S DADDY

There’s a buckdance ev’ry Friday night

Down at the old Town Hall

Where sometimes you can see

The best buckdancer of them all

She waves her hands, she swings her hips,

Her long hair’s flyin’ free

She sparks and smiles and kicks in style

That’s a pure delight to see

Well maybe she’ll be there this week

She’ll fill your heart with joy

But her Daddy don’t like her to go out

Dancin’ with the boys

That’s her Daddy in the back

Tryin’ not to tap his toes, . .

He sneaks in to watch her dance

Cause he don’t want her to know!

He’s the buckdancer’s Daddy

And he can’t sit down

He smiles when she swings around

He’s the buckdancer’s Daddy

And he tries so hard to frown

But he’s the buckdancer’s Daddy

And he can’t sit down!

As a boy he danced on flyin’ feet

Each contest he would win

Fell in love with a girl so sweet

And married to the beat of the mandolin

When the baby came, his lady died

And he hung up his shoes

No one knows how long he cried,

But his dancin’ days were through

His daughter grew up straight and strong

She got straight A’s in school

But when she hears a cloggin’ song

She dances like a fool

She follows in her Daddy’s footsteps

Has his natural moves, . .

He don’t approve, he says he only

Comes to hear the music!!

Now ev’ry Sunday he drops by

And tries to hide his smile

He shows us pictures of the guy

She danced with down the aisle

His wallet is chock-full of

Little dancers in his clan, . .

And Grandpa claims that ev’ry one

Can buckdance like he can!!

LOOK AT THE CEILING

Look at the ceiling

The shadows are bears

I wonder what’s on the T.V.?

And Daddy’s hands rub me all over

I wonder, do leaves in the creek find their way to the sea?

Mom mashes potatoes and pours in the milk

And silently smokes cigarettes

I wish she would hug me, or look at me even

I’d trade my allowance for that

Billy plays tag with me all the way home

After school, boy! He’s really a brat!

But we didn’t do nothin’, and it’s not fair for Dad

To make him go home, just like that!

Look at the ceiling

The shadows are bears

In hurricanes, where do birds hide?

And Daddy’s hands rub me all over,

I wonder where butterflies learn how to fly?

The county fair once had a merry-go-round

I loved to watch Mom and Dad ride

We used to laugh and they used to hold hands

And neither of them used to cry.

When the spider scared Little Miss Muffet away

How did she know where to run?

Oh, I’d love to sleep in the bathtub all night

And wake-up as clean as the sun.

Look at the ceiling

The shadows are bears

Oh, why do bees die when they sting?

And Daddy’s hands rub me all over

I wonder, where do balloons go when you cut the string?

LOVE IS THE ONLY MEDICINE

When you hurt

You hide it away

You carry the pain

Where it rains everyday

Ahh, so deep inside

Where no one can see

When someone hurts you

You don’t trust nobody, you need

Love. It’s the only medicine

Love. It makes you feel better my friend

Love. It’s the only medicine

Love. It makes you feel better my friend

We suffer abuse

From someone we love

We stay even though

We know push turns to shove

We hold on too long

Sustain injury

We know we should go

But sometimes we don’t see, we need

Love. It’s the only medicine

Love. It makes you feel better my friend

Love. It’s the only medicine

Only love can heal you,

Only love, love!

Only love can heal you!

If someone is mean

We know right away

That one has a wound

That one is in pain

That soul has a wall

Crushing the heart

They pass on the hurt

And again it will start, they need

Chorus

BABY NEEDS A PARENT

Baby don’t need no silver spoon

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who

Can give that baby some love!

Now every baby’s got one Mama

And every baby’s got one Pop

These days some babies live with one or the other

Cause the parents get all split-up!

Now if a baby’s only got one person

To guide that baby along

Well you might think “that’s a one-sided baby”

But maybe you might be wrong

Though everybody says that a baby girl

Needs to learn a woman’s gentle touch

And a boy needs a man to raise him, and

To show him how to be tough, . .

You know a baby can grow-up gentle

When a gentle Daddy takes good care

And a baby can grow up strong and brave

When a strong, brave Mama is there!

Now every baby’s gotta have at least one person

Who can be both gentle and strong

Well if the Mama and the Daddy can both do that

Then that baby’s never gonna go wrong!

Baby don’t need no silver spoon

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who

Can give that baby some love!

UNIFORMS

I love my job, I love my boss

I love my paycheck too, of course

But most of all I love to wear

Those clothes that make me warm

I fit in with everyone

When I’m in my uniform!!

Uniforms! Uniforms!

Wonderful, wonderful clothes!

When I get up in the mornin’

From my head down to my toes,

I’ve got my uniforms! niforms!

No decisions to make!

I just put on my uniform

And start my day!

Levis or a beach tan

Or a polyester knit

A jogging suit with stripes

Or toe-shoes that don’t quite fit

A cowboy hat, and apron

Phi Beta Kappa key,

I know all about you, yes,

And you know me! We’re in our,

Chorus

In the Military

You gotta wear your proper suit

Pay attention to insignia

So you know who to salute

And in an altercation

Well you know who to shoot!

If you should die, well, we’ll get by

Cause there’s lots of substitutes! In the same,

Chorus

Gray-haired airline pilots

And nurses dressed in white

And even fancy couples

At the opera at night

And sewer workers in their boots

Justa sloshin’ to and fro

Feel safer in a world where

Ev’rybody knows, that those

Chorus

BUDDIES

As my lifeline runs through my fingers

And it snags on knots time to time

Just talkin’ to you, helps them slip through

A buddy like you’s hard to find.

Buddies like you never need to be told

What buddies like me need to say

Life has a flare when you’re standing there

And it’s hollow when you’re away.

Remember that night I was ready to die?

We shared your last Cuban cigar

I laid down in the highway, but no one drove by,

So you went to borrow a car!

I helped you etch all them lines in your face

And you helped me grow these grey hairs

If I make you sore, hell! What’re friends for?!

We’re buddies ‘cause I know you care!

I like you better than corn-on-the-cob

More than the air that I breathe

You’re a mug of cold beer,

You’re a laugh, you’re a tear,

Buddy, you’re a god-damned relief!!

Buddies like you never need to be told

What buddies like me need to say

Life has a flare, when you’re standing there

And it’s hollow and empty, when you’re away

HOPELESSLY HETEROSEXUAL

I’m hopelessly, heterosexual

I guess I’m kinda slow

Mom and Dad were all I had

That’s the only way I know, so

I’m hopelessly, heterosexual

I’m stuck with being straight

So man-to-man I’ll ask you

Not to ask me for a date!

When I’m with you I’m happy

When you’re with me you’re gay

I love you like a brother

But not the other way!

Now I’m not scared to try it

But it’s not my cup of tea

I never even thought of it

Til you brought it up to me

And now that I consider it

I’d rather stay repressed

Cause I don’t feel excited at

The thought of you undressed!

I’m hopelessly heterosexual

You know I’m not a tease

I’m a product of society

So don’t be angry, please!

I’m hopelessly heterosexual

And I hate to be a bore

But I’d rather watch the Super Bowl

Than sit here and explore!

I’m flattered that you asked me

But that’s the way things have to be

Cupid’s kinda stupid

He hit you and he missed me!

But since we’re on the subject

And you know where I stand

What exactly do you do?

I guess, use your hand?

I mean, do you, how does,

What if, where will? From behind!!

Oh well, I just, you know,

It was, (gulp!) NEVERMIND!!

I’m hopelessly, heterosexual

And I don’t mean to offend

So don’t hold it against me

And I’ll be your best friend

No, don’t hold it against me

And please be my best friend!!

DANCIN’ AT THE REVOLUTION

Men and women work hand-in-hand

But power shifts from man to man

Sing it out so they understand

That no one needs to lead, to dance!!

We’re all dancin’ at the revolution

Are you comin’ by?

We’re all dancin’ at the revolution

Are you comin’ by?

Human rights is a serious thing

But we’ll remember how to sing!

While we work for social change

We laugh with each other to keep sane!!

So let’s keep on and move our feet

This movement has a beat!!

SO LONG

I’d like to go on singing

But I know I have to go

We’ve gone through ev’ry song I know

You’ve held the harmony

I know it’s time,

I know it’s time to go,

Thank you for the laughter,

And the tears you shed on me.

I won’t forget the moments we’ve been through

Cause memories warm the edges of tomorrow’s chill

But we can’t stay here forever,

No, we can’t stay standing still

Good feelings come too seldom

And they always come too few

I know I’m better off

When I linger here with you

But don’t you see our ice melts more

With every passing song?

And I don’t want to say that if

We stay we’ll fall right through,

So I’ll thank you once again

And then I’ll say “So long”

So long, so long