DR. PETER ALSOP’S
PROFESSIONAL LAUGHTER SERIES BUY IT NOW!!
SONGS ON RECOVERY AND ADDICTION – (Double CD)
RECOVERY AND ADDICTION – ONE
Family History, Self Discovery & Growth
Clean Out The Attic Family baggage
My Little Clock Respect for our time
Animal Crackers Passive aggression
Strength Legacy from our parents
No One’s Normal Feeling different
I Can If I Wanna Fighting negativity
Take A Step One step at a time
I Believe You Being a safe place
RECOVERY AND ADDICTION – TWO
Medicators
When One Is Too Many Substances & Sex
You Get A Little Extra When You Watch TV Television
RECOVERY AND ADDICTION – ONE
Family History, Self Discovery & Growth
My Great Great Grandpa made his own leather bag
Back when he was still young
And it’s been in our family for one hundred years
Handed down from father to son
It’s bottom is torn, and it’s stained and it’s worn
With the secrets of family affairs
But we don’t throw it out, it stays in our family
In a chest in the attic upstairs.
Clean out the attic, let in the light
The skeletons there will go dancing all night
The ghosts that we hear are the ancestors cheering
’Cause our kids won’t inherit their woes
So clean out the attic, some things need to go!
My kids carry baggage from me and their Mom
They load their own bags everyday
So why would I pass on my Grandpa’s old bag
When it’s just one more thing in their way
All bags have beginnings, and middles and ends
So for Christmas this year it’s my goal
As a gift to my kids, I’ll take Grandpa’s bag
And bury it deep in a hole!!
Clean out the attic, let in the light
The skeletons there will go dancing all night
When the everyday pains of the old family chains
Have really gotten too tight
Then clean out the attic, go dancing all night!
Clean out the attic, let in the light
The skeletons there will go dancing all night
The ghosts that we hear are the ancestors cheering
’Cause our kids will have room to grow, so
Clean out the attic, some things need to go!
Clean out the attic, let in the light!
Then all of us kids can go dancing all night!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
You’ve got a big clock
I’ve got a little clock too
Your clock’s for your time
Your big clock pushes you
When you’re in a hurry
My little clock’s pushed aside
Y’make me use your clock
Y’don’t care about my clock’s size
When your clock is ticking
Then everything changes
You haven’t got time to explain
I have to use your time
You push me and pull me
And it never enters your brain, that
You’ve got a big clock
I’ve got a little clock too
My clock’s for my time
Your clock’s time is up to you
Your clock’s important
It’s bigger, it makes more noise
But my clock’s important
Though you think it’s just a toy
You’re only trying
To help me feel better
At least that’s what you say
But I feel angry
I don’t feel better
When m’little clock’s treated this way, ohhh,
You’ve got a big clock
I’ve got a little clock too
I listen to your clock
Please listen to m’little clock too
I’ve only got a little time
Do you have a little time?
A little time on your big clock?
That’s all that I want from you
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1989, Moose School Music (BMI)
I’m not scared, but sometimes
When it’s late at night
The wind blows and the trees start scratching
On my window, I get frightened
Because I sleep upstairs
And I know no one’s that tall!
I start thinking, what if,
It’s not a tree at all!!
What if?! What if?!
What if it’s a giant rat
Who lives across the street?
What if he’s just starving?!
What if he needs meat to eat?! And
What if he’s been sniffing me,
And I smell like “Rat Chow!”
What if that’s him climbing up
My gutter pipe right now!!! (Ahhh!)
What if? What if?
That question fills my brain!
I scare myself so much
That I get totally insane!
What if? What if?
I hate to be afraid!
Half the stuff I’m scared of
Never happens anyway!
(But what about the other half? Gulp!)
I’m not scared, but sometimes,
I get a little freaky,
Like when there’s no one in the house,
It really feels creepy
I hold my breathe and listen
For anything that moves,
Then I start thinking,
“What if something’s holding it’s breath too?!”
What if?! What if?!
What if slimey hands are waiting
Underneath my bed!!?
What if it’s a headhunter,
Out to get ahead?
What if zombie dead men want to
Drag me down their hole!?
What if there’s a lobster lurking
In my toilet bowl? (Uhnnn!)
What if? What if?
That question fills my brain!
I scare myself so much
That I get totally insane!
What if? What if?
I think of something else?
If I imagine funny things,
Then I won’t scare myself!
I’m not scared, but sometimes,
Our house begins to shake,
It’s like a kind of rumble thump,
Like it’s about to break,
It’s prob’ly just our dog upstairs,
Bouncing on the bed,
But then I hear him outside,
Barking in the shed! (Uh-oh!)
What if?! What if?!
What if it’s an EARTHQUAKE!!
Oh no! I’ve got to stop!
I’ve got to think of funny things!
No more scary thoughts!
What if it’s an elephant,
Falling down on skates?
What if cows get so shook up,
They only give milkshakes?!
What if it’s a giant pickle
On a pogo stick,
Racing with King Kong,
Who’s wearing shoes made out of bricks?!
It’s working, hey! It’s working!
This is really, really great!
What if it’s a dragon
Jogging by to lose some weight?
What if? What if?
Now I’m not so scared!
I can make up funny things,
And my fears disappear!
What if? What if?
Like me, you’re sensitive?
Do not scare yourself to death,
'Cause that’s no way to live!!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
Dancing in a snake dance
Where the dancer twirls and spins
And the guilty serpent strikes
And neither partner wins
I asked her how she'd been
She said, "You've been our best friend,
And I don't know where to begin,
I don't love him anymore
I've had it up to here, I've seen it all before
He won't let me help him
He hollers if I try
And I know I must be crazy
But I can't say 'Good-bye'"
She cried and poured my tea
She said “What can I do?
You see, I'm his guiding light
When I help him talk things through
But he holds me up on high
Where he guards me jealously
While he gets it on with one-night stands
He can't make love with me!
I don't love him anymore
I've had it up to here
I've seen it all before,
He scares me when he's angry
He burns me with his eyes,
And if I say 'I'm leaving’
It kills me when he cries.”
I hugged her in the silence
“It'll all work out,” I lied
I was hardly out her door
When I had to stop and cry
They were dancing in a snake dance
To a tune I used to know
My heart was aching now
Though it happened long ago.
They were dancing in a snake dance
That would have to run it's time
And it hurt to see them dancing
In a dance so much like mine,
Where the serpent strikes
When he hears his dancer's cries
And he feels twice the pain
When his dancer finally dies!
Yes, he strikes 'cause he's afraid
Of love that's true,
And both of them are poisened
When the dance is through.
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1979, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
Animal crackers trapped in a box
I let 'em out 'cause I love 'em alot
Animal crackers, glad to be free
You're funny and cute, and you love me!
Animal crackers you love to play
I make you walk and y'do what I say
Animal crackers, you want a surprise?
Animal crackers, close your eyes!
Animal crackers, do you want a treat?
Then I BITE OFF THEIR HEADS!!!!
And I CHEW OFF THEIR FEET!!
And I GRIND THEIR BODIES and I MASH THEIR NECKS!
Then I SWALLOW 'EM DOWN, cause, hey, what the heck!?
They're just animal crackers, trapped in a box
And I let 'em out, 'cause I love 'em a lot!!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1986, Moose School Music (BMI)
Strength is a quality hard to define
For it comes in a number of ways
And it takes different shapes
In the people we love
Sometimes it's an ember
Sometimes it's a blaze
My Father could carry my brothers and me
On his back and we laughed til we cried
And he made us play straight
When we got off the track
But he'd never say much of what he felt inside
His business came first,
And we all understood,
'Cause he carried his family well
And he'd always explain
And his reasons were good
And his logic rang clear as the toll of a bell
Chorus
My Mother did mother-work for most of her life
We depended on her to get by
She'd sing in the kitchen to the dishes at night
And sleep with a smile
And love in her eyes
Young love is strong love as long as it stays
When you wake-up your dreams just won't shine
Now her African Violets take up her days
As she patiently waits for the door bell to chime.
Chorus
My Father got married again I've been told
Strength of character can't keep him warm
And it's hard for my mother to break from her mold
So she's built her own house
Where she's safe from the storms
At night when the stars become crystal cold lights
And my life gets so clear I can't sleep
Deep in my mirror
I gaze at the sights
And I see the lion
And I see the sheep
Strength is a quality hard to define
For it comes in a number of ways
And it takes different shapes
In the people we love
Sometimes it's an ember
Sometimes it's a blaze
Written by Peter Alsop, © 1975, Moose School Music (BMI)
No one’s normal, you know that!
Ev’ryone’s a little bats!
No one’s normal, look and see
We’re all a little craaa-zy!
Gh-gh, gh-gh, gh-gh-ght!
You think you know somebody who’s
Completely normal through and through
They’re hiding all their crazy stuff
You just don’t know them well enough
Sarah clips her fingernails, n’saves them in a little box
Willie says he talks to whales, n’Alison wears plastic socks!
Hector likes bean curds and sardines, eats ‘em when there’s no one there
Susan sleeps out in the garden, Tony will not comb his hair
Arthur has to have 12 crackers ev’rytime, no more, no less.
Darlene loves the Greenbay Packers, Billy Joe prefers a dress
Charlene thinks her knees look ugly, Wendall’s nose is always sore
Dino’s pants fit him too snugly, Mike eats popcorn off the floor
Chorus
You know you’re special down inside
But there’s some things you’ve learned to hide
From all the other people who
Are hiding special things from you!
Megan burps from ginger ale, and Willow likes to suck on soap
Franklin is a tattletale, and Rachel knows your horoscope
Jackie breathes with her mouth open, Sam’s allergic to clean clothes
Donna wants to be the Pope, an’ Sanford always picks his nose!
Walter sweats when he drinks water, Mary Jo blinks all the time
Ann will hug you for a quarter, Matt will kiss you for a dime
Tanya’s leg will not relax, and Heather has no little toe
Howard’s ears are full of wax, and Andy ate some yellow snow!
Angela acts rich and snooty, Phyllis is the teacher’s pet
Boris always does his duty, Gretta screams when she gets wet
Barry built some giant speakers, now he doesn’t hear too well
Olive sleeps in her old sneakers, she claims that her feet don’t smell!
Chorus
I love the special ways we are
So strange and different, so bizarre!
I’m glad there’s no one else like me
Cause one’s enough, don’t you agree!?
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1985, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
Juice, juice, please pass the juice
Pass that juice along!
Juice, I've found, makes the world go 'round
When we got it we pass it on!
I love juice that comes from fruit
Cause it tastes sweet and fine
I can drink until my tummy's full, but that's
Not what I got in mind, when I say
Chorus
Now they got "juice" in a battery
Called e-lec-tri-city!
It cooks the food and runs TV, but that's
Not the juice I mean, when I say
Chorus
When you sit down, just t'be with me
That’s the "juice" I'm speaking of
When you take time t'be a friend of mine
You just fill me up with love! We all need that
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, Moose School Music (BMI)
Inside ev’rybody, way down deep inside
There’s a little Neggy, who’s never satisfied
You try your best when life gets rough
The Neggy says, “Not good enough!
You won’t make it! You’re unfit!
You can’t do it! You should quit!”
Know what I say? Well,
I can if I wanna! (Can not!) Can too!
Yes I can if I wanna, I can do it!
I can if I wanna! (Can not!) Can too!
Yes I can if I wanna, so can you!!
A Neggy needs to stop you, when you try something new
Because you might learn something, and every time you do,
Your Neggy starts to shrink away
It hates to go, so it may say,
“Y’can’t try that! You’re bound to flop!
For your own good, you better stop!”
Know what I say? Well,
Chorus
Don’t believe a Neggy, they tell the biggest lies
If you think you can’t do it, they grow to twice their size!
Then you haven’t got a chance,
Won’t learn to sing or cook or dance
So don’t be scared that you might fail
Just grab that Neggy by the tail, and
You know what to say! Well,
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
Our cat Carlos has dandruff,
Our dog Homer has fleas (scratch, scratch)
Daddy’s breath in the morning
Smells like very old cheese! (p.u.!)
My big sister has pimples
That just won’t go away (oh no!)
If something’s wrong with you too, then you’re okay!
You’re okay! Wha’d’you say!?
No need t’make a fuss!
If something’s wrong with you too
Then you’re like us!
My Uncle Luke is grumpy,
He never will say “Please” (humpf!)
Aunt Lois is much nicer,
But her perfume makes me sneeze! (ah-choo!)
Sometimes when Mom gets angry,
There’s a bad word she will say, (breathe in!)
If something’s wrong with you too, then you’re okay!
Chorus
Stephanie chews her finger nails,
Although she knows it’s wrong, (chomp, chomp!)
My brother thinks that he’s too short,
And he thinks his tongue’s too long (twoo lwong)
I pig out on candy,
And I never get straight “A”s, (oh well!)
Well, if something’s wrong with you too, then you’re okay!
Chorus
Now if this song is boring you,
Because you’re not a clod, (not me!)
And y’never ever make mistakes,
And you’re perfect, just like God (A-men)
Then we won’t call you “snobby!”,
Or tell you “go away!”, ’cause, hey!
There’s something wrong with you too, so you’re okay!
Chorus (2X)
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, Moose School Music (BMI)
If y’got a great big mountain to climb
And that mountain’s covered with slime
There’s only one way to get to the top
One step at a time!
Take a step! Take a step!
Who knows, it might be fun!
Take a step! Take a step!
When you gotta get somethin’ done!
If you’re freezin’ there in your underwear
’Cause y’can’t decide what clothes to wear
Put on your socks ’n start from there,
One step at a time!
Chorus
If y’got to clean your room today
And you’d rather go outside and play
Just take that mess and use your head
Hide it under the bed!!
If y’got to eat an ele-phunt
Do y’start at the back, or at the front?
It’s a lot t’eat, but it’ll taste fine!
One bite at a time!
Take a bite! Take a bite!
Who knows, it might be fun!
Take a bite! Take a bite!
’Less you’re a vegetarian!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, Moose School Music (BMI)
When you tell me you are scared
I will listen ’cause I care
I remember bein’ scared too
So when you tell me, I believe you
When you’re angry or you’re sad
Even if you’re feeling bad
I remember feelin’ bad too
So when you tell me, I believe you
Maybe I can help you with an idea
Maybe I know something that’ll make things clear, or
Maybe I won’t know what to do
But I can be a safe place, and I believe you
When I was a kid, I cried
Had a secret deep inside
But the grown-ups could not see
I thought “Something must be wrong with me”
So when you tell me you are scared
I will listen ’cause I care
I remember bein’ scared too
So when you tell me, I believe you.
When you tell me, I believe you.
When you tell me, ... I believe you.
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1992, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
Let 'em laugh! Let 'em laugh! Let 'em laugh!
Let 'em call me a clown!
Let 'em laugh! Let 'em laugh! Let 'em laugh!
That won't stop me from getting up when I fall down!
Everybody makes mistakes when
We're learning something new
I look funny on my roller skates
Because it's hard to do!
I don't care if they laugh at me,
I think I'm funny too!
Though I fall down, I won't give up,
And they'll cheer me when I'm through! So,
Chorus
I never used to try new things
My friends thought I was shy
Then I realized one day
That life was passing by!
Sometimes you gotta take a chance
There's so many things to try,
N'sometimes you 'crash and burn',
But sometimes, you fly! So,
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1986, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
PETER COMMENTS ON THE SONGS - Part 1
It’s hard to let go of old behaviors, but there are things we don’t want to pass on to our children. We discover a strong motivation to CLEAN OUT THE ATTIC when we realize that as parents, our own inherited emotional baggage and “out of balance” behaviors will have an impact on our children, and eventually affect our grandchildren too. We look for help and many of us get into recovery. It’s difficult to end some of our familiar old behaviors, but healthy people understand that most things have beginnings, middles and ends.
When no one has time for us, we feel like we’re not worth much. MY LITTLE CLOCK is for children who are forced to march to the beat of a grown-up timer. Many of us live by the minute hand, with schedules for eating, sleeping and working. Organizing our life is important, but children don't always organize they way we do. Whose clock ticks louder if they're not sleepy and we want them to go to bed? Being in a hurry can prevent us from taking time to explain, from being flexible when possible, from allowing choices, and just treating children with respect and patience.
A good laugh helps us see other options when we’re afraid. Just because something's serious, doesn't mean it's not funny! WHAT IF? was written at the request of a mother whose child was frightened by an earthquake. Being afraid is often about feeling out of control, like on elevators and airplanes. We often scare ourselves by thinking about all the horrible things that might happen. When our brain is full of fears, we can't think clearly, and the fears escalate. Fear can freeze us or cause us to flee, but in either case, it stops us from taking considered, deliberate action. A little humor can make things lighter and help us break the cycle, so we can walk through our fear.
The dance steps of a classic codependent relationship are difficult and frustrating. SNAKE DANCE is about a woman addicted to the potential of a relationship. She doesn’t know how to set boundaries to take care of herself. Some women allow themselves to be put on a pedestal and then can’t get down. Once the dance starts, it’s difficult to stop the anger and violence and jealousy, the cheating, the neediness, the blaming and the hollow threats. The romance drains away. The sexuality dries up and neither partner knows how to break out of the downward spiral.
Play and make believe are safe ways for kids to act out their anger. When we’re not allowed to express angry feelings, they surface again, often in less healthy ways. ANIMAL CRACKERS illustrates passive-aggression. The child in the song, acting like he’s a loving caretaker, enjoys mashing the little animal crackers as he eats them. This song can initiate discussions about anger management, control and violence, or at the other end of the spectrum, avoidance, shyness and isolation. Often the "lost child" in a family avoids "drawing fire" from the family shooting gallery by escaping into fantasy and isolating herself in her room, reading books or playing with dolls. Some kids act out their rage on pets or toys while they're playing, exhibiting some of the behaviors that have been modeled for them.
We recognize our legacy from our parents in the light of their divorce. I wrote STRENGTH about my parents divorce. I was tempted to tie the last verse up in a nice bow, and describe how my father had grown gentler, and how my mother had learned to be more assertive, but it wasn’t really true. I stuck with the true version. This song can be used to bring up divorce and broken dreams and logic and money and how tough it is to break up a family when we can see both the good times and the hard times.
Normal behavior for someone, may be abnormal for someone else. NO ONE'S NORMAL is about being different and feeling good about yourself. "Normal" means "the way most people are”, average. We accept the phases of behavior and attitude that our children go through, but it's wonderful when we can look at an adult who’s having difficulty, and accept their behavior too. We know they’re working at their own level of development as they struggle with their own growth process. If we can do that for others, then we can gently grant ourselves time and space to go through our own changes and marvel at all our wonderful differences. Feel free to use anything mentioned in the song to generate discussion.
When we’re not loved, we feel empty and we search for any kind of juice to fill us; booze, sex, drugs, money or food. When we’re filled up with love, we pass it on. When kids get good quality JUICE from their parents or family, they're able to pass it along to other people. We learn to love others from being loved. We care about others because we’ve been cared about ourselves. Children act morally when they understand feelings. We teach them about feelings when we’re open with them about our own feelings. As they gain the ability to "feel" for others, they will make decisions about how to behave, based on their feelings and their intellectual concepts. Caring behavior comes out of treating others as well as we would like them to treat us.
Positive, affirming statements move us ahead, replacing negative old messages that hold us back. I CAN IF I WANNA is about saying “NO!” to that negative little voice inside us that says we can’t do anything right. We’ve all heard many negative messages in our lives. They undermine what we do and how we do it. People criticize us with the best of intentions, trying to help us grow and learn, but after awhile, we learn to say these negative messages to ourselves. Then affirmations sound hollow and fake. When I get to that point, I have to tell myself that affirmations are simply statements that "haven’t come true YET!" By saying positive things to ourselves, we move closer to having them become a reality.
There is nothing "wrong" with any of us, we’re just being presented with different “growth opportunities”! YOU'RE OKAY reframes the word “wrong”. There’s nothing "wrong" with any of us. Usually when people say "you're wrong", they mean you're "doing something wrong." When we gather together and share our shortcomings with each other, we find out how much we have in common. We’re all making mistakes! It's affirming to feel that we're not alone. I feel much more comfortable and safe from criticism when I'm around other people who are working on their own shortcomings. That’s why I like twelve step programs. So "if you've got something ‘wrong’ with you, then you’re okay with me!” Sharing our struggles gives us the support we need to go on.
A big job starts with a small step, especially recovery! Take action. TAKE A STEP encourages us to take action, even when life seems overwhelming and impossible. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time! Procrastination can be generated by fear of failure, fear of success, pain, lack of understanding, or "just not feeling like it." These are very real obstacles for us, and threats or force don't work well to motivate us. However, once we get started on our own, momentum gathers and our sense of control increases. We become aware of how our participation assists in our recovery. As we keep a positive outlook, take responsibility for ourselves, and learn new skills, we build trust in ourselves and grow.
Learning how to be a safe place for others, teaches us how to find safe places for ourselves. I BELIEVE YOU is about listening to kids and knowing that they have their own truth. It may be different than our truth, but it is true for them nevertheless. We can only get our kids to open up and talk to us by being a safe, accepting place for them. That means that we MUST be able to hear and accept things about them that are difficult for us to hear. Kids need their feelings witnessed just as much as they need to have their behavioral accomplishments watched.
If we’re feeling comfortable, we’re probably not risking much, and we must take risks to grow. LET 'EM LAUGH encourages us to take risk and stick our necks out to learn new things. We may appear foolish the first few times we try something new, but after a while we’ll gain mastery of whatever we’re learning, and then we’ll know how to do it. We will have accomplished something and moved ahead, while those who stood by laughing and playing it safe, will still be in the same place.
RECOVERY AND ADDICTION – TWO
Medicators
One drink, one smoke, one snort of coke
A sugar slip, hey, a mainline trip
Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?
My friend, I know you know what’s required!
When one is too many, and a thousand ain’t enough,
You cannot do any, hey, you got to get tough!
When one is too many, and a thousand ain’t enough,
You cannot do any, hey, you got to get tough!
I used to love to go get tight
With all my friends, we could dance all night,
But we take too much, and before too long
We start to fighting, man, you know something’s wrong!
Chorus
We love too much, we try to please,
But sometimes life brings us to our knees
So we hide the hurt, the way we know
We got to learn some other way to go!
Chorus
So take a cold shower, make you do a little dance!
Call a friend who knows you and give yourself a chance
Or you could ask your Higher Power t’get you back on track
Get that kid inside t’help y’bounce that monkey off your back!!
Chorus
[Old last verse:]
Or you could grab your partner, go hop in the sack
Yeah, make crazy love and bounce that monkey off your back!
I changed this when I understood that I was encouraging a switch from one medicating addiction (alcohol & other drugs) to another (sex) neither of which help a person heal the source of their pain.
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1984, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
There's no excuse t'use booze
All you get is confused
Booze makes a problem for you, so
There's no excuse t'use booze!
Chorus
Booze is bad for kids
Now we all know that's true
But some folks won't admit
That it's bad for the grown-ups too!
Chorus
One of my good friends
Offered me some beer
But I got "common sense"
So I whispered in her ear
Chorus
M'friend said "You're no fun!"
"When there's booze around, I grab it!"
She got drunk, and she got sick,
If that's fun, well, she can have it!
Chorus
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1986, Moose School Music (BMI)
Dashing through the snow, to the liquor store
We ran out of alcohol, we’re going to get more! (Oh boy!)
Dad has had a few drinks, he’s really got a load
HEY!!! Look out Dad! Boy! You almost ran us off the road! Oh!
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
I hate when someone drinks!
Grown-ups just act stupid
And their breath, it really stinks! Yeah,
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
Taste it, you’ll throw up!
If I have to drink at Christmas
I would rather not grow up!
That was pretty scary, that was pretty close!
Dad has had so many, he’s got Rudolph’s big red nose!
He runs into the store, grabs a six-pack off the shelf
Then he chugs another one to calm his Christmas self, Oh!
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
I hate when someone drinks!
Grown-ups just act stupid
They should pour it down their sinks! Oh,
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
Taste it, you’ll throw up!
If I have to drink at Christmas
I would rather not grow up!
Mom is in the kitchen, with the family recipes
Brandy in the eggnog, and the Christmas pudding please!
She’s baking Christmas cookies, rum balls for us all
Christmas isn’t Christmas without the alcohol!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music, (BMI)
We met at the disco-hop
I'd started to freak-out
But when the joint got busted
You helped me to sneak-out
I lost my stash, began to crash
My knees were gettin' weak
Then you took out your tube of glue
And y'got some on my cheek, and now I'm
Stuck on you, stuck on you
Stuck on you from sniffin' glue
Nothin' that my heart can do, cause I'm
Stuck on you from sniffin' glue!
Mom and Dad will be so mad
They won't know what to do
Cause in their car I went too far
An' I got attached to you!
Somehow our eyelids inter-laced
I can't deny that we've embraced
Or Dad will say that we're two-faced
And I'll get pasted!! What'll I do? I'm,
Chorus
You got hooked on model planes
But that was just the start
Then plastic cars and boats and trains
Replaced me in your heart
I gave you my last Duco tube
The kind that overflows
But you wouldn't save a 'sniff' for me
Y'just jammed it in your nose!
And still I'm
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, © 1975, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
I know what I want for Christmas
I wrote to Santa long ago
There’s only one thing on my list
Just listen Mom, please don’t say “No!”
I’m sorry you got mad last night Mom
I’m stubborn, just like you, and strong.
You show me how to do things right, an’
You hug me tight when something’s wrong.
I love the things you do, such as,
At bedtime when we read a book.
An’ you don’t yell when you get mad,
You just squint your eyes and look
But when you cough, I think you’re choking.
I get so scared, I have to say,
For Christmas Mom, would you quit smoking?
Throw your cigarettes away?
Don’t burn out in one great big blaze
Or I’ll make my squint eyes at you!
I need you here for lots more birthdays.
Don’t quit for me Mom, quit for you!
Someday I will have some kids.
And they’ll need “Grandma hugs” a lot.
I need you too Mom, I’m your kid, and,
Well, you’re the only Mom I’ve got!
Your eyes filled with tears last night
When I threatened, “I’d smoke too!”
I feel fears each time you light up
I wish that you would feel scared too
Listen Mom, ’cause I’m not joking
I don’t want toys on Santa’s sleigh
For Christmas Mom, would you quit smoking?
Throw your cigarettes away!!
I love you Mom, so please, quit smoking,
That’s all I want on Christmas Day.
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
Early in the morning when I’m startin’ out
And I’m lookin’ in my cereal bowl
I gotta put a lot of sugar on t’make it sweet
Cause my body’s gettin’ ready to roll!
Chorus
Hyperactive! I’m hyperactive!
I boogie, boogie all the day through!
Hyperactive! I’m hyperactive!
Sugar’s good for me and you!
Hyperactive! I’m hyperactive!
It’s a fundamental dental rule!
Hyperactive! I’m hyperactive!
Sugar’s good for me and you!
When I’m standin’ at the counter at the grocery store
And my eyes are poppin’ outta my head
At the bubble gum and choc’late and a whole lot more
I remember what the T.V. said!
Hyperactive! I’m hyperactive!
Some vitamins mighta been cool!
Hyperactive! I’m hyperactive
Sugar’s good for me and you!
Well I ate my sugar stash and now I’m startin’ to crash
And I’m grouchy but I can’t go t’sleep
So I drink a couple colas, but they give me gas
And when I try t’start countin’ the sheep, they’re
Hyperactive! Hyperactive!
They boogie, boogie all night through!
Hyperactive! Hyperactive!
Hyperactive like me and you!
Hyperactive! We’re hyperactive!
We boogie, boogie all the day through!
Hyperactive! We’re hyperactive!
Sugar’s good for me and you!
Yeah! Sugar’s good for me and you!
Sugar’s good for me and yooouu!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1985, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
Do you really want to eat that Dad?
If you do, you’ll just get mad
We’ve been through this all before
You say you’re full, and then you eat some more
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control
Hangs over his belt, like a candle that’s melted!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
You buy health food when you shop
But we don’t wanna eat what you eat, Pop
We know your self control is bad
So we’ll finish off your ice cream Dad,
(Just to help you stay healthy!)
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control
Our hands are full, whenever we pull,
On my Daddy’s roll!! It’s outta control!
This morning he jumped out of bed
Looked in the mirror, then he said
“I’ve got “Dunlop’s Disease” real bad!
I “done lopped over my belt!” (Oh Daaaaaad!)
He sucks his stomach in real far
As he offers me half of his candy bar
He holds his breath as his face turns red
He was out of air when I said,
Kid: My, my Dad! What a big chest you’ve got!
Dad: (holding breath) All muscles!
Kid: Can I stick my finger in your bellybutton??!
Dad: NO! Hey! NO! Don’t do that! Cut it out!
Kid: Well I think I found the secret release button here Dad! Look!
Dad: Stop right now or I’ll, ....(huge release of air with giggles & flop)
Kid: Wow! Dad, is THAT all YOU!!
Dad: Now look what you’ve done!
Help me pick this up and tuck it back in here!!
So work out Dad, it’s not too late
Push yourself away from your plate
Y’say “I’m gonna trim this roll off me!”
Then you sit down and watch T.V.!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control
Sometimes he tries, to exercise
But my Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
You make fun of yourself, it’s true!
But your roll doesn’t bother anyone but you!
If you need to cry ’cause you’re feeling sad
I’ll give you a hug, ’cause I love you Dad
And I love your roll, tho’ it’s outta control
Hangs over your belt, like a candle that’s melted!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
I love my job, I love my boss
I love my paycheck too, of course
But most of all I love to wear
Those clothes that make me warm
I fit in with everyone
When I’m in my uniform!!
Uniforms! Uniforms!
Wonderful, wonderful clothes!
When I get up in the mornin’
From my head down to my toes,
I’ve got my uniforms! niforms!
No decisions to make!
I just put on my uniform
And start my day!
Levis or a beach tan
Or a polyester knit
A jogging suit with stripes
Or toe-shoes that don’t quite fit
A cowboy hat, and apron
Phi Beta Kappa key,
I know all about you, yes,
And you know me! We’re in our,
Chorus
In the Military
You gotta wear your proper suit
Pay attention to insignia
So you know who to salute
And in an altercation
Well you know who to shoot!
If you should die, well, we’ll get by
'Cause there’s lots of substitutes! In the same,
Chorus
Gray-haired airline pilots
And nurses dressed in white
And even fancy couples
At the opera at night
And sewer workers in their boots
Justa sloshin’ to and fro
Feel safer in a world where
Ev’rybody knows, that those
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1980, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
I’m just a little kid
With a mouth beneath my nose
When someone takes me shopping
This is how it goes, it says
Buy me something, something, something!
Buy me something, something, something!
Buy me something, buy me something,
Buy me, buy me, buy me, buy me,
Buy me something, pleeeeease!!
Even if I have one
My mouth says “I need two!”
And if Mom tells me “No!”
Here’s what it will do, ... it says
Chorus
We’re s’posed to look for presents
For my family
But my mouth doesn’t care about
Anyone but me! It says
“One of these! Or one of those!
Or that one over there!
Hurry! Buy me ANY-thing!
I don’t really care, just”
Chorus
My parents really hate it
They have to count to ten
They say they’ll never, ever, ever
Buy me things again!
I’ve really got a problem
My mouth just loves to shop!
Maybe YOU could buy me something
THAT might make it stop
(Spoken: Wha’d’ya think? It’s worth a try!
You could prob’ly save a cute little kid
From getting killed by an angry parent!
Look it’s not my fault if my mouth has
some kind of rare shopping compulsion, is it?
You could just put it on your charge card?
Then you won’t have to pay right away?)
Chorus (more manic)
I’m going crazy
I can’t stand it
Please DON’T make me leave
This store, empty-handed!!!
Dream Sequence
Buy me something expensive
Something new
Spend lots, don’t be a cheapskate
Or I’ll get mad at you
Buy me things of great value
Stuff to save
I want giant collections of
Ev’rything ever made!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
YOU GET A LITTLE EXTRA WHEN YOU WATCH T.V.
You get a little extra when you watch T.V.
Ain't that ducky!
Well you're lucky if you see that
You get a little extra when you watch T.V.!
You sit too close and you get a big surprise
Lots of radiation in your body and your eyes
Your eardrums hum when someone turns it up too high,
When you watch T.V.!
We learn lots about our bodies and our aches and pains,
Headaches, hemorrhoids, heartburn, diarrhea, denture stains
Gotta buy more drugs t'stop your stresses and your strains
When you watch T.V. !
Chorus
When someone in an advertisement tells me lies
I jump up and switch the channels, and I get some exercise
So my body's getting healthy and my mind is getting wise
When I watch T.V.!
Daddies only love the Mommies when the dirt's all gone
From their shirts and shiny floors, the coffee has t'be right on,
I'm so glad my Dad's not fussy, cause he'd leave my Mom,
If he watched T.V.!
Chorus
In real life it never works when people go
And hit and kick and punch and smash each other's heads and toes
But it always solves the problems on the cartoon shows
When you watch T.V.!
Last night on the highway when our car got stalled
We saw a bloody accident with bodies that were mauled
Though my folks got sick, it didn't bother me at all.
'Cause I watch T.V.!
Chorus
If you think that I am lazy, don't you call me names
I have learned important skills from playing video games
If a spaceship should attack me I could shoot 'em down in flames,
'Cause I watch T.V.!
And a big T.V. can really give you quite a rest
If you get one near your bed, you've got no reason to get dressed
You never have to talk to anyone, your life is a success
When you watch T.V.!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
Logical, Logical! Why do you have t'be so logical?!
Never-mind, don't tell me why,
You'll have a logical reply!
Kid: Dad, I'm too full to eat my beans
Dad: You're too full? What does that mean?
Kid: My tummy's got no room, it's true!
Dad: That means no room for dessert too?
Kid: Well, I've got space left for ice cream!
Dad: Then you could fill that space with beans!
Kid: But beans are overflowing Dad!
Dad: No room for ice cream then, too bad!!
Chorus:
Kid: I'm too sick for school today
But I'don't need medicine, okay?
Adult: Don't you want to feel well?
Kid: Yeah, but I can't stand the smell!
That stuff stinks like old dead clams!
It'll make me sicker than I am!
I'm not that sick, I won't die!
Adult: Then off to school you go! Good-bye!
Chorus:
Aunt: Do you like monster movies, dear?
Kid: I don't like THIS one, he's too weird!
Aunt: He's just an actor, you know that!
Kid: I don't care! His head's all fat!
Aunt: He saves the little girl you know,
Kid: Who cares?! I'm scared! C'mon, let's go!
AAAHHHHRRGG! There he is! I'm outta here!!
Aunt: Come back!! It's just a movie dear!
Chorus:
Kid: But I don't want to learn to swim,
Adult: It's fun! Come on, I'll help you in!
Kid: Don't push me in, I'll drown! AAAAHHH! (splash)
Adult: That's good!! Now move your legs around!
Kid: Blubbb-glubbb-help me!
Adult: You're okay!
This will save your life someday!
And swimming's healthy too, you know,
Hey, wait a minute, where'd you go?
Chorus: (underwater)
Mom: C'mon it's time to take your bath
Kid: But Mom I haven't done my math!
Mom: Then why is television on?
Kid: It's almost over, Mom, c'mon!
Mom: Your neck is filthy, Let's go! Move!
Kid: But I don't see what this will prove,
I just get dirty ev'ry day, so,
Let's save water, okay?
Mom: No!!
Logical, Logical! Why don't you like it when I'm logical!
Never-mind, don't tell me why
You'll have a logical reply.
Peter: C'mon, it's time, pack up your things
Kids: Not yet! We wanna stay and sing!
We're having fun here at the park
Peter: But you can't stay here after dark!
There'll be no beds, no heat, no food
And bears might come, you might get chewed!
So think it over, you decide,
Come home with me, or freeze outside!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1986, Moose School Music (BMI)
If I was in charge, there’d be a few changes
My room would be clean as can be
But I wouldn’t clean it if I was in charge
My father would offer to clean it for me!!
No, I wouldn’t clean it if I was in charge
My father would clean it for me!!
If I was in charge there’s be a few changes
Kids wouldn’t eat food that we hate!
We’d all eat desserts if I was in charge
And it would be great if y’licked off your plate!
We’d all eat desserts if I was in charge
And it would be great if y’licked off your plate!
If I was in charge there’d be a few changes
My brother would do what I said!
He’d stay out of my stuff if I was in charge,
Or I’d never let him get out of his bed!
He’d stay out of my stuff if I was in charge,
Or I’d have to pour honey all over his head!
If I was in charge there’d be a few changes
I’d make teachers have recess all day!
They’d chew gum and blow bubbles if I was in charge
N’they’d better blow big ones if they want an ‘A’!
They’d chew gum and blow bubbles if I was in charge
N’they’d better blow big ones if they want an ‘A’!
If I was in charge there’d be a few changes
I’d never let anyone fight!
If you hit somebody and I was in charge
I’d slug you, to teach you that hitting’s not right!
If you hit somebody and I was in charge
I’d slug you, to teach you that hitting’s not right!
(That’s awful! What’s happening to me!!?)
If I was in charge, I might start to change
And start acting like I’m a big deal
Maybe it’s best if NO ONE’S in charge
N’we just pay attention t’how others feel!
Yeah, ... maybe it’s best if NO ONE’S in charge
N’we just pay attention to how other folks feel!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1990, MooseSchool Music (BMI)
I am always good as gold
I do exactly what I’m told
I do what the grown-ups say
I don’t complain, ’cause it’s okay.
I don’t talk back, I don’t get mad
I don’t upset my Mom and Dad
I don’t get sick, I comb my hair
I wear clean socks and underwear
I fold my clothes and clean my room
I dust and sweep and vac-cu-um
I clean-up mud and dirt and grime
I always go to bed on time
But sometimes when I’m all alone
I have to sing this little song
It really helps me feel better
If you want to, sing along,
Chorus
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go,
Aaaa-aaaa-aaaa-aaargh!
(Spoken: Pant, pant, Let’s do it again, okay? C’mon!)
Aaaa-aaaa-aaaa-aaargh!
(Spoken: Pant, pant, there, now doesn’t that feel better?)
I don’t make noise or laugh or cry
I don’t stick out my tongue or lie
I don’t fidget, I sit still
When I have soup, I never spill, it!
I wash dishes ev’ry night
I do my homework, I don’t fight
I follow rules, I don’t chew gum
I never even sucked my thumb!
I never watch the T.V. set
At school, I am the teacher’s pet
I have the best grades on the list
Some day I’ll be a therapist!
Your parents prob’ly wanted you
To be a perfect kid like me
But maybe that’s a little crazy,
Sing along if you agree,
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, Moose School Music (BMI)
PETER COMMENTS ON THE SONGS - Part 2
We may change our medicators, but until we face the painful feelings that drive our compulsive behaviors, they do not go away. Using sex instead of drugs isn’t facing the underlying pain. WHEN ONE IS TOO MANY “and a thousand ain’t enough” is an anthem for addicts. It mentions the hyped-up, unhealthy behavior patterns we get ourselves into; staying up all night, being irritable, fighting. We won’t change until we hit bottom; until we’re “sick and tired of being sick and tired”. Once we admit our powerlessness over our disease, we can ask for help. I wrote the last verse of this song before I was aware that sex is as much of a medicator as drugs. So my new last verse goes like this: “So take a cold shower, make you do a little dance, Find the little kid inside you, who never had a chance, or you could ask the Higher Power, t’get you back on track, then go hug that little kid and bounce that monkey off your back!”
Every “good excuse” we come up with for using alcohol or other drugs is just another form of denial. It’s amazing how many excuses we can find to use medicators. NO EXCUSE T'USE BOOZE! reminds us that drinking booze is not a healthy habit, for kids or adults. We know this and yet many of us still drink, and set examples for our children. There are an estimated 5.3 million kids between 12 and 17 years of age who have serious drinking problems. In more than 50% of all fatal accidents, alcohol or other drugs are a contributing factor. Our problems only get worse when we try to avoid them using booze. We always have other choices.
How many ways can we include alcohol in our holiday rituals? Can we be spiritual and “just say no?” Drinking alcohol, or CHRISTMAS CHEER, as it’s called, has become part of our holiday traditions. You can feel like a social outcast if you choose not to drink at a party or refuse some spiked eggnog. For generations kids have watched adults in their lives celebrate with alcohol and then do stupid and dangerous things. Most kids just accept it. They feel powerless to change anything, but it’s scary, and kids want us to stop.
“Huffing” inhalants is a serious problem for many people. STUCK ON YOU (From Sniffin' Glue!) is a silly song that can be used to discuss dating, parental control, party behaviors, romance as a medicator, using inhalants, or “huffing”, and the inevitable fate of a relationship based on drug use. The lovers always end up playing second fiddle to the drug.
Nicotine is one of the most difficult substances to stop. Our children often follow our example. THE GIFT is about a child who asks a parent to quit smoking for Christmas as their gift. Nicotine is one of the most difficult of all drugs to quit. It has one of the shortest withdrawal periods, so by the time you’re having your third cigarette, you’re medicating the withdrawal symptoms from the first cigarette. I feel the real gift we’ve received, is the love we have for our children, because that’s what’s given many of us the strength to stop smoking. We don’t want to pass it on to them.
The relationship between hyperactivity and refined sugar is still being investigated, but we know that eating sugar robs our vitamins, makes us nervous, irritable, run down and depleted. HYPERACTIVE can be used to address sugar dependency, diet, how food is marketed to children, being over-weight, and feeling different. When we’re "hyper", other people sometimes avoid us, and we’re left feeling isolated and abandoned. There are people with attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD), who have to cope daily with not fitting in socially. Sometimes people who take a daily medication learn the hidden message that a simple answer in the form of a pill can solve their problems. There are others who know the medication is only temporary, to control their symptoms, while they work very hard to build other skills and methods for coping with their personal situation.
Compulsive eating when we aren’t really hungry indicates that there’s a painful feeling trying to surface. My DADDY’S ROLL (is out of control), touches on compulsive eating with all the trappings of any other substance dependency. Even those of us without a weight problem, may find ourselves standing in front of an open refridgerator looking for something to complete us as human beings. It’s not in there.
“Looking good” is a type of perfectionism. What we wear is often influenced by our need to belong and be accepted. UNIFORMS explores judging others by their appearance. It’s something we do to feel safe. A brief glance around a crowded room can tell us instantly who may be a potential adversary, or ally. Stereotyping by appearance also limits the scope of our interactions with others, and it can lead to becoming fearful and untrusting of those who look different than we do. Many of us grew up in families that had to “look good” to the outside world. Our appearance was important to maintaining a denial about the pain we were in. We all have a great need to belong and to be accepted by our peers. What we wear often affects how we are accepted by others.
Compulsive shopping patterns tip us off to issues around money, self-worth, and status. BUY ME SOMETHING is a cry most parents have heard at some time or other. Some people have to cut up their charge cards because they can’t control their spending. We all feel good when we can buy something new for ourselves, but if we shop compulsively to avoid painful feelings, we need to get some support, and find out what’s really bothering us. Use this song to discuss money, always being in debt, helping others for free, then resenting it, hating to shop, or feeling like you have to buy something for someone else everytime you buy something for yourself.
Building awareness about the hidden messages on television is the best way to protect ourselves from their subtle impact on us. YOU GET A LITTLE EXTRA WHEN YOU WATCH T.V.! hopefully raises our consciousness about all the little hidden messages that television gives us. We accept and internalize them without even realizing it. Some of the hidden messages we get are, "beautiful women look like this”, and “real men can be sensitive and violent”; or, "having a new car will make you more desireable", and “any problems can be solved in twenty-eight minutes”, and "old people are always cranky or they’re perfect grandparents, no in-between"; and on and on. Being aware of these messages is the best way to protect ourselves from their subtle impact on us. Spending hours in front of the television is also a great way to avoid dealing with anything that’s bothering us. It erodes our self worth when we continually put off taking care of our emotional needs. It may expose us to wide variety of ideas, but social skills need to be practiced to be efective.
Logical thinking and compulsive organizing keep us out of our feelings and are often used to get others to "see things our way”. LOGICAL thinking is a valuable skill, but it’s often used to avoid feelings. We use logic to get other people to do what we want, to "see things our way”. We use it on our children when we want them to "behave properly", instead of taking time to find out what they’re feeling. There’s an implicit message in our culture that says, "what a person thinks is more important than what they feel". Staying in our heads with ideas and thoughts feels safe to us because we can control them. Feelings are less easily controlled, but we need to build a “feelings vocabulary” to compliment our logical reasoning.
Many of us grew up feeling that our lives were out of control. Having more control doesn’t solve problems, as well as knowing when to “let go.” Many of us think, "IF I WAS IN CHARGE, the world would be a better place for everyone!” Being in charge is often better as a fantasy than in reality. Many of us in recovery have had to deal with our own control problems. We find that having more control never solves our problems. It keeps us running around in turmoil, preoccupied with everyone else’s short-comings, and we’re distanced from discovering a calmer, more lasting spiritual solution. Learning to "let go" of control is a valuable skill that many of us do not acquire until later in life!
It’s easier to take care of others than to care for ourselves. Some of us try to be perfect, but when everything we do becomes a test of our worth, eventually we don't measure up. AAARGH! is a good song for family heroes. Striving to be perfect to gain approval from others can become an obsession. The pressure we put on ourselves makes us, and those around us feel crazy sometimes. We take up professions in human services because it’s easier to care for others than to care for ourselves. When we don’t find the approval we seek, a deep loneliness builds inside. We work harder to medicate the pain, but it never solves the problem, because there is always another test to study for, another person to save, another mess to clean up. When we differentiate ourselves from our work, we see that we are not what we do, and we can get down to the real job of learning who we really are, and accepting ourselves.
