Songs On Sex And Sexuality

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SONGS ON SEX AND SEXUALITY – (Double CD)

SEX and SEXUALITY – ONE

Gender, Sexual Orientation & Relationships

Baby Needs A Parent Single parenting

It’s Only A Wee-Wee, So What’s the Big Deal? Sex role conditioning

Let The Woman In You Come Through Androgeny

Buddies Love regardless of gender

Hopelessly Heterosexual Curiosity with respect

My Secret Out of hiding

Country & Western Transylvania Love Song Feeling used & getting even

Doin' It For You Male chauvinism

I Hope You Understand Dear Breaking up with a computer

Man Oh Man I Can One-sided romance

Lists Left-brain passion

When You Ask Me First Initiating sex

Peter Comments on the songs

SEX and SEXUALITY - TWO

Adolescence, Self Discovery & Sexual Abuse

Good Time Loneliness of a seduction

It’s My Penis (Geof Morgan) Healing song for men

Don’t Put Your Hand In My Pants Setting healthy boundaries

Look At The Ceiling Dissociation during incest

Love Is The Only Medicine Love heals sexual wounds

My Body Self empowerment

Letter To Mr. Brown Kids need appropriate touching

Back Up! Self-care when uncomfortable

Strangers Abduction prevention

Let’s Trade Butts Accepting ourselves

Give Yourself A Hand Sexual harrassment alternative

My Father’s Top Drawer Pornography

Peter Comments on the songs

BABY NEEDS A PARENT a cappella

Baby don’t need no silver spoon

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who

Can give that baby some love!

Now every baby’s got one Mama

And every baby’s got one Pop

These days some babies live with one or the other

’Cause the parents get all split-up!

Now if a baby’s only got one person

To guide that baby along

Well you might think “that’s a one-sided baby”

But maybe you might be wrong

Though everybody says that a baby girl

Needs to learn a woman’s gentle touch

And a boy needs a man to raise him, and

To show him how to be tough, . .

You know a baby can grow-up gentle

When a gentle Daddy takes good care

And a baby can grow up strong and brave

When a strong, brave Mama is there!

Now every baby’s gotta have at least one person

Who can be both gentle and strong

Well if the Mama and the Daddy can both do that

Then that baby’s never gonna go wrong!

Baby don’t need no silver spoon

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who

Can give that baby some love!

On Uniforms and Songs On Sex & Sexuality – www.peteralsop.com

IT’S ONLY A WEE WEE, SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL

As soon as you’re born grown-ups check where you pee

And then they decide just how you’re s'posed t'be

Girls pink and quiet, boys noisy and blue

Seems like a dumb way to choose what you’ll do...

It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s the big deal?

It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s all the fuss?

It’s only a wee-wee, and everyone’s got one

There’s better things to discuss!!

Now girls must use make-up, girls' names and girls' clothes

And boys must use sneakers, but not panty hose

The grown-ups will teach you the rules to their dance,

And if you get confused, they’ll say “Look in your pants!”

Chorus

If I live to be nine, I won’t understand

Why grown-ups are to’tly obsessed with their glands

If I touch myself, . . “Don’t you do that!” I’m told,

And they treat me like I might explode!

Chorus

Grown-ups watch closely each move that we make

Boys must not cry, and girls must make cake

It’s all very formal, and I think it smells

Let’s all be abnormal and act like ourselves!!

Chorus

(Adult verse & chorus)

She walked to the market past brave cavaliers

She tried to avoid them, they whistled and jeered

She gave them the finger, they gave her more noise

She stopped and she sang to those bright little boys, . .

It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s the big deal?

It’s only a wee-wee, so why do you watch?

It’s only a wee-wee, and everyone’s got one

There’s more to life than your crotch!!

LET THE WOMAN IN YOU COME THROUGH

You're holding in 'cause you're a man who never cries

I'm not as tough as you, my friend,

But since you ask for my advice,

Let the woman in you come through

She's trying to let you know she's there

She colors everything you do

And the man in you gets scared.

You like to dance, I've seen you dance

When you thought no one was there

I've heard sorrow take your voice

While you laugh like you don't care

It's hard to hide your gentle side

It's a lonely way to be

Take it from a friend who knows,

An old, old friend like me.

Chorus

You'll fight to prove that you're a man

You'll fight to prove you're right

You work hard and play hard

And you stay up late at night

Working hard's a way to hide

From the dumb things some folks say

But holding tenderness inside

Is only throwing it away.

Chorus

So you tell me that I'm crazy

And I know you don't like kids

Especially little sissies

Yeah, I know you never did,

But I've seen you with the tough ones

The ones the others all condemn

And you know that they're the frightened ones

And you know cause you're like them.

Chorus

Let the woman in you come through

Be a different kind of brave

She'll show you love's the difference

Between a free man and a slave

BUDDIES

As my lifeline runs through my fingers C-G-C

And it snags on knots time to time F-C

Just talkin’ to you, helps them slip through F-C-Am

A buddy like you’s hard to find. C-G-C-C7

Cho: Buddies like you never need to be told F-C

What buddies like me need to say F-C

Life has a flare when you’re standing there F-C-Am

And it’s hollow when you’re away. C-G-C, G-G7

Remember that night I was ready to die?

We shared your last Cuban cigar

I laid down in the highway, ... but no one drove by,

So you went to borrow a car!

Chorus

I helped you etch all them lines in your face

And you helped me grow these grey hairs

If I make you sore, ... hell! What’re friends for?!

We’re buddies ‘cause I know you care!

Brdg: I like you better than corn-on-the-cob F-C

More than the air that I breathe F-C

You’re a mug of cold beer, F

You’re a laugh, you’re a tear, C-Am

Buddy, you’re a god-damned relief!! C-G-C-C7

Cho: Buddies like you never need to be told

What buddies like me need to say

Life has a flare, when you’re standing there

And it’s hollow and empty, ... when you’re away.

On Uniforms and Songs On Sex & Sexuality – www.peteralsop.com

HOPELESSLY HETEROSEXUAL

I’m hopelessly, heterosexual

I guess I’m kinda slow

Mom and Dad were all I had

That’s the only way I know, so

I’m hopelessly, heterosexual

I’m stuck with being straight

So man-to-man I’ll ask you

Not to ask me for a date!

When I’m with you I’m happy

When you’re with me you’re gay

I love you like a brother

But not the other way!

Now I’m not scared to try it

But it’s not my cup of tea

I never even thought of it

Til you brought it up to me

And now that I consider it

I’d rather stay repressed

'Cause I don’t feel excited at

The thought of you undressed!

I’m hopelessly heterosexual

You know I’m not a tease

I’m a product of society

So don’t be angry, please!

I’m hopelessly heterosexual

And I hate to be a bore

But I’d rather watch the Super Bowl

Than sit here and explore!

I’m flattered that you asked me

But that’s the way things have to be

Cupid’s kinda stupid

He hit you and he missed me!

But since we’re on the subject

And you know where I stand

What exactly do you do?

I guess, use your hand?

I mean, do you, how does,

What if, where will? From behind!!

Oh well, I just, you know,

It was, (gulp!) NEVERMIND!!

I’m hopelessly, heterosexual

And I don’t mean to offend

So don’t hold it against me

And I’ll be your best friend

No, don’t hold it against me

And please be my best friend!!

MY SECRET

I've got a secret, how 'bout you?

Let's tell each other what we do!

I've got a secret, how 'bout you?

Friday night I'm feelin' right, cause I get paid

Right back to my little room, and I pull the shade

Off with pants and quickly on with that dress I made

Wig in place, I paint my face and my arms with marmalade!

Nobody knows my secret!

Nobody shares in my fun!

I walk around in my nylons

Cause I don't want them to run!

Everyone hides some secret thing they've done,

So if you're strange, don't make a change,

Spread your jam and hug your lamb,

And let your vibrator hummmm!

Chorus

All week long I drive a truck, I'm kind of shy

But I read Playboy Magazine, like a normal guy

And I love eatin' my Mom's homemade apple pie

But no one knows her marmalade goes in the pantyhose I buy!

Nobody knows my secret

Nobody shares in my fun!

I spread jelly on my belly,

I spread it on my buns!

I'll tell you, if you'll tell me,

Do you get hot with your bathroom locked?

Well I cool my nerves with Mom's preserves

It's just a difference of degree!

Chorus

COUNTRY AND WESTERN TRANSYLVANIA LOVE SONG

Bob Lincoln was a werewolf C

Now he lies beneath the ground F

With a silver bullet deep within his chest C-G-G7

He was shot by Hattie Williams C

The tru’est lover ever found F

Tho’ she cried that night she sent him to his rest C-G, F-Em-C

Chorus: Howl to the moon Bob Lincoln, F

Howl to the moon C

Hattie’s gone and shot you down G-Am

To keep your heart from prowlin’ round F-Dm

Of all the wolves she know’d she loved you best! C-G, F-Em-C

A full moon smiled down that night

Upon the Junior Prom

Bob drove his Daddy’s hearse to Hattie’s tomb

He combed his face and rang the bell

He knew the chase was on,

When he caught the scent of her wolfsbane perfume!

Chorus

All the kids were at the Prom

At Transylvania High

Bob Lincoln danced the foxtrot like a fox,

But when Hattie caught him dancing

Cheek-to-cheek with Wilma Frye,

She thought she smelled a wolf in Bobby’s sox!

Chorus

Bob knew that Hattie was upset,

He’d acted like a beast,

But he knew he couldn’t stop his urge to roam

Then Hattie asked him quaintly

Why he hadn’t worn his leash

“If you can’t control your urges, take me home!”

Chorus

Now Hattie knew that werewolves roam

’Til their lovers shoot them down

So she took her hidden pistol from her hair

She had one silver bullet,

So she only fired one round

She got him where wolves really should be-ware!

Chorus

On Peter Alsop and Songs On Sex & Sexuality – www.peteralsop.com

DOIN’ IT FOR YOU

I treat you politely Baby

And so you can’t complain

I hold the door when you go out

And when you go in again

The only time I interrupt

Is when you talk too slow

And I’ve been teaching you the questions

To the answers that I know

So why, why, why?

You’re tryin’ to rearrange me?

Why, why, why?

You’re always tryin’ to change?

Why, why, why?

Should you want somethin’ new?

When I’m only, doin’ it for you!

I let you make my breakfast

Though you always burn my eggs

I take you into public places

With that hair upon your legs

And when my friends come over

I never make you leave

And I helped you with them dishes

For that dinner, Christmas Eve

Chorus

I only come to bed at night

To satisfy your need

I’m good and fast, I know you like

To stay awake and read.

You say I ain’t kind to you

But when we went to lunch

You spilled your soup all over me

And I only hit you once!

Chorus

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND DEAR

For years I’ve been watchin’ folks on the T.V.

Sometimes it seemed they were more real than me

Then I met you computer, you wanted my touch

Y’gave me the ‘control’ that I needed so much!

I hope you understand Dear, you’ll forgive me, I know

Y’follow every ‘command’ Dear, but I’m going back home!

There was something attractive ’bout your organized mind

I turned you on and our lives intertwined

I spent so much time sittin’, just gazing at you

That my wife, she suspected and my kids, they did too!

Well we didn’t try t’hide it, we started ‘scrollin’ around

We’d go out on ‘datas’ and you’d never ‘go down’

So I knew you meant business, that you weren’t the cheap kind

But I need some body, Darlin’, not just some mind!!

My wife and kids miss me, ’ n heck, you never smile,

So I’m goin’ back dear, t’start a new ‘file’!

Now the thrill is all gone, so it’s not worth the risk,

And it’s tough to play games with an old ‘floppy disk’!

I hope you understand Dear, you’ll forgive me, I know

I need someone with hands Dear, so I’m going back home!

But back home in the bedroom, my life was a wreck!

My wife was in bed, with ‘mega-bytes’ on her neck!

‘Warm boots’ in the hall, ‘Wordstars’ in her eyes,

A ‘User-friendly’ computer lyin’ there on her thighs!

(I couldn’t ‘cursor’ for that, so I said,)

I hope you understand Dear, and you’ll forgive me, I know!

Cause this ‘terminal illness’ has been wrecking our home!!!

I hope you understand Dear, ’cause I love you so much!

So let’s write some new ‘programs’, that’ll keep us in touch!

I hope you understand Dear, and you’ll forgive me, I know!

You’re just right for this man Dear, so I’m comin’ back home!

MAN OH MAN I CAN

As a window dresser at Macy's

My future held nothing in store

Until that day in the warehouse

When I spotted you there on the floor

I knew when I saw you that you were the one

But you needed some parts for your arm

So I gave you a hand, but your blouse came undone

I still feel shivers from all of your slivers

Though you're rough with me Baby, that's part of your charm!

Man, oh man, I love you, man, oh man, I can

Anyway I can

Love you all day

It's not right the way I love, man, oh man, I can

Our love is 'knot holy'

'Wooden' you say?

I know that you're bald, but I don't care at all

Cause I know how self-conscious you are

And you always have a smile for me when I call

I love kissing your lips, though they're missing some chips

From banging around in the trunk of my car!

That blond hair on my collar, you know, that you found?

Well, she's just a dummy I knew long ago

Now you're mad! I can tell, cause you won't make a sound

Must I tap little rhythms on you with my thumb??

Mom always said you'd make a good drum!

Your eternal beauty will never run down

I won't let you warp or decay

When you're old, if you get board, you can lumber around

In my yard where the woodpeckers stay

They'll build nests in your head and keep termites away!

Chorus

LISTS

I had a list of things to do

But now my only list is you

And my list keeps getting longer

I hope we never make through

I want to laugh with you outloud

I want to meet you in a crowd

I want to buy you leather clothes

I want to hold you by your toes

I want to travel cross the country

Together on a Northern train

I want to sing with you in harmony

And run through pouring rain!

Do you feel me too?

Are the shivers coming through?

I want to make you room to grow

I want to share the stuff we know

I want to touch you when you're still

I want to roll you down a hill

I want to lather up your shoulders

Shampoo fingers through your hair

I want to gather up your worries

And throw them in the air!

Do you fell me too?

Are the shivers coming through?

Do you feel me too?

Am I coming through?

I want to hold you when you're sad

I want to show you Paris, France

I want to listen to your stomach

While you're teaching me to dance

I want to wade into your eyes

And I want to taste your tongue

I want to listen to you whisper

I want to kiss you when you come.

Chorus

WHEN YOU ASK ME FIRST

I love to do it Baby

But you only make it worse

I just don't get excited

When you go and ask me first

So don't touch me where I'm ticklish

And don't sit on my lap

And don't ask me politely Baby

It makes me feel trapped

'Cause when you chase me, Darlin'

It really turns me off

I've tried so hard to tell you,

But I guess I'm getting soft,

So please, just sit and smile

With helpless soulful eyes

Admiring me while

I run my finger up your thighs

Then I kiss you,

And I breathe heavy in your ear

Then you should whisper "Take me! Take me!"

And could you make it sound sincere?

Chorus

When I start to change positions

Like the pictures in the book

And use a couple mirrors

So I can see how neat we look

You start to change positions too,

In ways I've never seen!

And you kiss with your eyes open!

And you laugh, and yell, and scream!

You used to be more normal

You liked it face-to-face

But now you're going crazy

And you like it anyplace!

You said I could be on top,

You said you understood,

But all last night you wouldn't stop!

You busted it for good!

Chorus

I love to do it Baby

When everything is right

But I think I feel my headache

Coming on again tonight.

PETER COMMENTS ON THE SONGS - Part 1

1. BABY NEEDS A PARENT is a song for single parents. Single parenting can be overwhelming and lonely at times, but it can also be less complicated when you don’t have to deal with the other parent. Some single parents buy things for their children to compensate for the loss of the other parent, but kids don’t need more stuff, they need a well-adjusted adult in their life who loves them and can model a full range of healthy emotions.

Some single parent homes have produced some very well-balanced children, including homes with gay and lesbian parents. Children who grow up in such a home do not automatically become homosexual themselves, because as these special parents point out, "Gee, we grew up with heterosexual parents; that didn't influence our sexual orientation.”

2. IT'S ONLY A WEE-WEE is about sex role conditioning. What’s the first question we ask when a baby’s born? "Is it a boy or a girl?" It starts right away. Adults make much more of a big deal about sex than kids do, so this is song’s really to get adults thinking about our gender stereotypes. It’s obvious that the range of human sexual behavior, identity and orientation is not limited by our genitalia.

3. LET THE WOMAN IN YOU COME THROUGH addresses the fact that many men feel a need to appear tough or "macho" to avoid teasing or ridicule. We know that if a boy cries or shows any gentleness, he risks being called a "sissy". Why should acting like someone's sister be taken as the worst kind of insult? Male fear and negativity about women in our culture doesn’t make much sense. Our bodies make both estrogen and androgen, and gentle, nurturing behaviors are exhibited by both genders, especially when they’re encouraged.

4. BUDDIES is about having close friends to talk to, as a major part of our safety net during difficult times. It’s essential to have a “family of choice” to support us. This is a song for buddies we love, regardless of their gender. If you’re bothered by the reference to alcohol in the line, “You're a mug of cold beer!", change it to, "God, I wish you were here!". Some of us medicate with alcohol, while others preoccupy ourselves with relationship difficulties.

5. The humor of HOPELESSLY HETEROSEXUAL, comes out of the heterosexual man's homophobia clashing with his sexual curiosity, not from any ridicule or negativity. Gay men and lesbians in our culture face incredible rejection, because our society is so "hopelessly heterosexual". This song’s good for discussons on heterosexism and homophobia, to friendship, male bonding and the origins of our sexuality. There are things about ourselves that we don’t choose; things we discover as we go on living. Our sexual orientation is one of them. Why would a twelve year old boy choose to be gay, when he knows he’ll be shunned by his straight friends? The marvelous process of exploring and discovering our sexuality is severely squashed by the traditional sex role expectations in our culture.

6. MY SECRET addresses closed-mindedness. It’s about acting out sexually, something we all do to some degree or another. Some people act out very secretly. When we have secrets and feel the need to hide what we are doing, it's usually because we’re ashamed. Shame is about who we are, and there’s nothing wrong with who we are! We’re each on our own path, with our own obstacles and our own work to do. People who cross-dress compulsively, or who spread jam on their body, or who sexualize every situation are driven by the same avoidance of painful feelings as people who use less secret medicators like alcohol or work.

7. The COUNTRY AND WESTERN TRANSYLVANIA LOVE SONG is about a teen-age werewolf who has an uncontrollable "urge to roam". It covers dating, flirting, the excitement and danger of getting caught in a forbidden embrace, fighting and the emotional high drama that happens when we create a crises. Bob’s two-timing is not uncommon dating behavior, and when Hattie decides to shoot him with a silver bullet for his own good, claiming it’s because she loves him, it’s an example of the all or nothing black and white thinking exhibited by many adult children of alcoholics. This is romance addiction at it’s finest.

8. “But I’m only DOIN' IT FOR YOU” is always a questionable statement. Male behavior is often focused on getting female approval. So when men perform, and women don’t respond appropriately, men get hurt and angry and blame. The line "so I only hit you once!" generates laughter from an audience, but it’s always an uncomfortable laugh. We laugh because it’s unexpected and because there’s such a huge flaw in the singer's logic, but we know that domestic violence is a very serious problem. In this country, there’s a rape every nine minutes, and a beating every 30 seconds. Unfortunately, if we’re not the ones doing it, and not the ones it's happening to, we remain silent.

9. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND DEAR is about breaking off an affair with a laptop. Some of us use work to avoid painful feelings. We medicate by working compulsively and accomplishing things, even though we may be dying inside from loneliness. We feel that "if we can just get enough control of the world around us, we can make everything work out just right." Obsessive romance and "falling in love" are powerful medicators, and we can actually have an “affair” with our work to avoid facing some of the painful realities of our relationships at home.

10. MAN OH MAN I CAN is a silly song, but it’s great for bringing up issues about objectification of women, communication difficultiies, fear of closeness, blaming, masturbation, jealousy and parental criticism. Having a plastic or wooden significant other certainly makes it clear who’s in charge of the relationship, doesn’t it! Finding a partner who doesn’t mind if we’re always in control, and keeping our focus on sex and love and romance helps us avoid feeling lonely, but it doesn’t solve our problems. We find ourselves stuck in a relationship where we’re merely existing, not really living.

11. LISTS is about falling in love and becoming compulsive and obsessive about another person. "Falling in love" is an altered state of mind, not unlike being drugged. It may be helpful to ask ourselves if we are "growing in love" with someone, which implies all of the difficult parts of building a relationship that has emotional safety, as well as caring and sexual intimacy. Compulsive list-making can bring a loving relationship to it’s knees. When we feel we MUST follow a list and complete everything, we may have lost sight of why the list was made in the first place.

12. WHEN YOU ASK ME FIRST chronicles a man’s difficulty with relinquishing control in the bedroom. Being on the receiving end of someone else’s passion can be a humbling and upsetting experience, but if someone wants to make love with us, we must be desireable, right? This song’s good for discussing expectations, control, and individual preferences.

GOOD TIME

I see that you're alone

Y'look like someone I once knew

I'm just a little drunk, but do you mind?

I hope I haven't blown

My chances here with you

What I'm about to say sounds like a line

Well, I've made it this far

I came out to have a good time,

And here you are,

I came out to have a good time

And would you like to share a glass of wine?

'Cause I'm alone in here

And I came out to have a good time.

This elevator goes so slow

When you look at me that way

I'll ride up and see you to your door

First you tell me "No"

Then your husband's gone, you say,

Sure, you slip into something else, I can't think anymore

Chorus (And even though the evening's going fine)

I'm sorry if I hurt you

God, you kiss like silk and velvet

I'm dizzy and so light that I could fly

You're really good, you know

But I guess I'd better go

I don't know why it is, sometimes I cry

Chorus (And even though your body's holding mine,)

I came out, ... to have a good time.

IT’S MY PENIS

by Geof Morgan

What's that hangin' down between my legs?

Looks like a sausage between two hard boiled eggs!

And sculptors usually got it covered with leaves

Now I wonder what it could be?

Oh! It's my penis! My penis!

Y'see how much has truly come between us

It's my penis, my penis!

Let's start again, and this time be friends!

Some say you're a symbol of power and hate

And some say you're a weapon to dominate

But you don't look that mean to me

When y'draw in the snow with my pee!

Chorus (C’mon, give it a try! It's not hard!)

Now you don’t have to get it up like there's a record to prove

Limp or erect, it still feels good

And all that guilt's just a-holdin' you down

It's not a contest for cryin' out loud!

Chorus (See?! You're gettin' the hang of it!)

Well we needed this talk, little penis-to-heart

We're on the same body but so far apart

And even though I'm here a-talkin' to you

Y'know we're really one and not two!

Chorus (Follow the bouncing balls!)

DON’T PUT YOUR HAND IN MY PANTS,

JUST ’CAUSE WE’RE IN LOVE

Chorus: Don’t put your hand in my pants G-Gmj7-G6-Gmj7

Just ’cause we’re in love G-Gmj7-Am7-Am6

Don’t put your hand in my pants Am7-Am6-Am7-Am6

I just wanna be hugged Am7-D7-G-Gmj7

Please hold my hand when we kiss G6-Gmj7-G-Gmj7

I’m so tired of tugging your wrist Am7-Am6-Am7-D7

Don’t put your hand in my pants G-Gmj7-G6-Gmj7

Just ’cause we’re in love Am7-D7-G-D7

The night is full of stars Em

My heart is full of love G-Gmj7-G6-Gmj7

But romance starts to fade Em

When you grab and grope and tug! C-D

Like Boy Scouts on parade, Em

Like the Army Marching Band B7

Your fingers think they’re crusaders C-G

Heading for the Holy Land! Oh, ... C-D-G-D7

Chorus (first half same)

As you gaze deeply into my eyes

Your fingers keep creeping up on my thighs!

No, don’t put your hand in my pants

Just ’cause we’re in love!

I just want to snuggle

You just want to play

Your one hand’s on my zipper

And your other hand is, HEY!!

I say “No!” but you don’t stop

You feel “IN LOVE!” you say?

Well I feel that you’re not listening

So feel your own, okay!!? and,

Chorus: Don’t put your hand in my pants

Just ’cause we’re in love

If you’ve got icy fingers

Buy yourself a glove!

When I asked, if y’knew how I felt

I meant in my heart, not under my belt!

No, don’t put your hand in my pants

Just ’cause we’re in love!

Birds are singing, bells are ringing C-Cm

It must be Spring, you’re after my thing! G-A-D7

No! Don’t put your hand in my pants G-Gmj7-G6-Gmj7

Just ’cause we’re in love!! Am7-D7-C-Cm-G

On Family Roles and Songs On Sex & Sexuality – www.peteralsop.com

LOOK AT THE CEILING

Look at the ceiling

The shadows are bears

I wonder what’s on the T.V.?

And Daddy’s hands rub me all over

I wonder, do leaves in the creek find their way to the sea?

Mom mashes potatoes and pours in the milk

And silently smokes cigarettes

I wish she would hug me, or look at me even

I’d trade my allowance for that

Billy plays tag with me all the way home

After school, boy! He’s really a brat!

But we didn’t do nothin’, and it’s not fair for Dad

To make him go home, just like that!

Look at the ceiling

The shadows are bears

In hurricanes, where do birds hide?

And Daddy’s hands rub me all over,

I wonder where butterflies learn how to fly?

The county fair once had a merry-go-round

I loved to watch Mom and Dad ride

We used to laugh and they used to hold hands

And neither of them used to cry.

When the spider scared Little Miss Muffet away

How did she know where to run?

Oh, I’d love to sleep in the bathtub all night

And wake-up as clean as the sun.

Look at the ceiling

The shadows are bears

Oh, why do bees die when they sting?

And Daddy’s hands rub me all over

I wonder, where do balloons go when you cut the string?

LOVE IS THE ONLY MEDICINE

When you hurt

You hide it away

You carry the pain

Where it rains everyday

Ahh, so deep inside

Where no one can see

When someone hurts you

You don’t trust nobody, you need

Love. It’s the only medicine

Love. It makes you feel better my friend

Love. It’s the only medicine

Love. It makes you feel better my friend

We suffer abuse

From someone we love

We stay even though

We know push turns to shove

We hold on too long

Sustain injury

We know we should go

But sometimes we don’t see, we need

Love. It’s the only medicine

Love. It makes you feel better my friend

Love. It’s the only medicine

Only love can heal you,

Only love, love!

Only love can heal you!

If someone is mean

We know right away

That one has a wound

That one is in pain

That soul has a wall

Crushing the heart

They pass on the hurt

And again it will start, they need

Chorus

MY BODY

My body's nobody's body but mine!

You run your own body, let me run mine!

My nose was made to sniff and to sneeze

To smell what I want, and to pick when I please!

[or - To smell what I want, and to blow when I please!]

My lungs were made to hold air when I breathe,

I am in charge of just how much I need!

My legs were made to dance me around

To walk and to run and to jump up and down!

My mouth was made to blow-up a balloon

I can eat, kiss and spit, I can whistle a tune!

[or - I can eat, kiss and sing, I can whistle a tune!]

No one knows my body better than me

It tells me, "Let's eat!", it tells me "Go pee!"

Don't hit me or kick me, don't push or shove

Don't hug me too hard when you show me your love

Sometimes it's hard to say "No!" and be strong

When those"No!" feelings come, then I know something's wrong

’Cause My body's mine from my head to my toe

Please leave it alone when you hear me say "No!"

Secrets are fun when they're filled with surprise

But not when they hurt us with tricks, threats and lies

Our body's one body, one voice is heard

We each sing for freedom when we sing these words!

additional lyrics by Green Thumb Theatre

LETTER TO MR. BROWN

Dear Mr. Brown, (from the kids in your school)

We're writing you a letter like you taught us to do.

We all got together at lunch this noon,

N' decided we'd better do something soon.

'Cause lately you've been diff'rent and we don't know why.

Did we do something wrong? We're sorry and we'll try

To act a little better, if we've been bad.

We all think that you're the best teacher we've had.

You used to hold our hands when we walked across the street.

You used to help us wash them just before we went to eat.

You used to kneel down and help Robbie tie his shoes,

And sometimes you would thumb-wrestle, usually you'd lose!

You used to boost up Ray and Alice on the monkey bars.

You used to put your arm around us when we got our stars.

Whenever we played "tag", you were "it" the most,

N' you'd even help Tyrone when he'd forget to blow his nose!

You used to help us button up our coats when it was chilly.

You used to mess our hairs up with your hand when we were silly.

N' you used to hug us sometimes, when we fell and hurt our knees,

But you never touch us anymore, . . . so Mr. Brown, please,

Tell us why you're mad at us, and honest, we will change!

You still help us learn to read and add, but now you're acting strange.

You never made us nervous or kept us after school.

You never touched us anywhere that was against the rules,

So, Mr. Brown, please, tell us what we did,

And we hope you read our letter, 'cause it's signed by ev'ry kid.

Signed:

Robie, Susan, Rosie, Lee,

Lavendar, and Russell T.,

Matt and Alice, Candy, Ray,

Mordecai, and Russell A.,

Ellen, Jennifer, and Mary,

Jim, Felicia, and Gary,

Jose', Reggie, Barbie, Joan,

Harold, and your friend, Tyrone.

BACK-UP!

One day hikin’ in the hills E-(A-E)

Practicin’ my scoutin’ skills E-(A-E)

Whoa! This big snake crossed my track E-(A-E)

So I said t’myself, “Hey Self, ... get back!” E-(A-E)

Cho: Back-up! (Back-up!) Back-up! (Back-up!) E-(A-E)/ E-E-(A-E)

You won’t crack-up if you back-up! D9-A

Back-up! (Back-up!) Back-up! (Back-up!) E-(A-E)/ E-E-(A-E)

Give yourself some slack and just “Get back!” D9-A

Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm, Back-up! (Back-up!) E-(A-E)

Sometimes Dad drives much too fast

And I’m afraid that we might crash

So I say, “Dad, now please don’t frown

When I’m scared, I gotta speak-up, SLOW DOWN!!”

Chorus

My Uncle Dave, he sings to me

And sometimes I sit on his knee

But then he starts to pet my hair

So I say, “Would you please STOP petting my hair?

I am NOT a dog or a cat or a fluffy little bunny!

And even though I LIKE you very much,

I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!!!

Thank you for listening.

Chorus

So if by accident you find A

You get too close, you can change your mind E

Or if somebody gets too close to you A

Just say, “Back-up!” that’s the thing to do! F#-B7

Chorus/Instumental

When someone’s actin’ all syrupy sweet

They sit so close you can smell their feet

And they ooze up t’you like a greasy cat

Y’don’t have t’act nice, when it feels like that!

Chorus (2x)

Ad libs ( If it’s not your choice, then use your voice!) - (Save yourself some flack, and just get back!)

On Wake Up! dvd and Songs On Sex & Sexuality – www.peteralsop.com

STRANGERS

If a great big ugly guy walks by

While you are playing in your yard

And he sez “Hey Little Kid! You want a

Stick of gum or a cho’late bar?

Would you take it from him? NOOOOOO!

What if it’s your favorite? NOOOOOO!

What if he has ice cream? NOOOOOO!

And we know why!

Chorus

Cause he’s a stranger!

Someone we don’t know!

He’s a stranger, he might be nice, but even so

We follow safe advice

So t’strangers we say, NOOOOOO!

If a pretty lady’s at your door

She rings your bell, you’re home alone

And she says, “Hey Little Kid! I’m lost!

Please let me in to use your phone!

Would you let her in? NOOOOOO!

What if she is smiling? NOOOOOO!

What if she looks like a movie star? NOOOOOO!

What if she says she’d been lost for forty-two days

and hasn’t had anything to eat in two weeks

and she needs a great lookin’ little kid like you

to save her life, so please, pleeeease open up this door

RIGHT NOW! Would you do it? NOOOOOO!

And we know why!

Cause she’s a stranger!

Someone we don’t know!

She’s a stranger,

She might be nice, but even so

We follow safe advice

So t’strangers we say, NOOOOOO!

Now LET me get this straight, a stranger’s

ANYONE I don’t know, so I

SHOULDN’T talk to strangers or go

OFF alone with someone who I

DON’T know because strangers are not

ALWAYS ugly looking sometimes

THEY act nice and friendly but they’re

STILL a stranger even if I

THINK I might have seen them I should

NEVER let them get too close

and we know why!

Cause they’re a stranger!

Someone we don’t know!

They’re a stranger,

They might be nice, and even so

We follow safe advice,

So t’strangers we say NOOOOOO!

To strangers we say NOOOOOO!

LET’S TRADE BUTTS!

Let’s trade butts! Let’s trade butts!

If you don’t like the one you got!

Let’s trade, ’cause I like yours alot!

I want to try a diff’rent kind!

An’ I like yours, do you like mine!?

Let’s trade, Butts!

Everybody else looks great!

But my butt’s only second-rate!

I’ll hang yours down below my back!

I need a new one, this one’s cracked!

I wash mine ev’ry time I shower!

So hey! Let’s swap ’em for one hour!

Yo! Let’s test drive ’em for a week!

Then we can turn the other cheek!

I’ve looked around in lots of stores!

They’re hard to find, those butts like yours!

It looks brand new, don’t you sit down?

Mine’s broken in, it’s been around!

Let’s, Trade, Butts!

So when I try yours on for size!

My friends will not believe their eyes!

They’ll look and say “Where’d you get that!”

Hey! Tradin’ butts is where it’s at!

Yeah, some butts skinny, some butts fat,

But tradin’ butts is where it’s at!

I learned alot from tradin’ butts!

If you don’t like your own, you’re nuts!

GIVE YOURSELF A HAND

Give yourself a hand, give yourself a hand

You say it’s not your fault so it’s got to be your glands!

Give yourself a hand, give yourself a hand

Give us all a break and give yourself a hand!

You act like you’ve been,

Deserted on an island all alone for years

With no one there to scratch your back

Or rub behind your ears

So you act like you’re in heat

Drowning in testosterone

And ev’ry conversation

Takes on sexual overtones

And your fingers indiscreetly

With no conscience of their own

Go creeping here and there

Acting quite unchaperoned

Your starving, leering, lechy eyes

Pursue her ev’ry move,

Drooling, searching for her thighs

Or the bounce of her ba-zoom!

It’s so tedious, exhausting

Unnecessary and,

Easily cured and remedied,

This plague of modern man!! Just,

Chorus:

(You say you’re at the mercy of your bodily demands!)

So you won the big election

But it’s not your macho crap,

It’s your work, not your erection

That put you on the map!

You’re the Chairman, Captain, Chief

Your title’s on your card

Success once bought relief

But now that’s not the way things are!

Has your mother ever mentioned

Suff’ring gross indignities?

From big men with bent intentions

Do you think that she’d be pleased?

C’mon and join the rest of us

We’re trying hard to change,

The selfish and injurious

Ways that we’ve been trained!

If you’re insecure or scared

You can ask me for support,

If you’re lonely we can talk

But if you’re horny, be a sport, and,

Chorus:

(You say you’re only comfortable when you’re in command!)

This common health phenomenon

Some marriages has saved!

They don’t do “it” down in Washington

Which is why they’re so depraved!

It’s fun and full of rhythm!

You can play to beat the band!

So do yourself a favor!

It’s something you will savor, yes!

Do yourself a favor and

Give yourself a hand!

Chorus:

(You say you’ve no control when your private parts expand!)

We know that riding on the range

Makes a cowpoke real tough,

And seamy, smelly, strange

And all that other manly stuff

Just like football, motorcycle grease

Soldiers, guns and beer,

You’re out to prove that you’re okay

But boy, you’re acting weird!

Have you got a big obsession?

Afraid that you might die?

If your sexual aggression won’t make

Some sweet young thing sigh,

And offer you her hips

And heart and mind and soul?

Do you have to have a power fix

To make you feel whole?

No one else should have to suffer

’Cause you happen to be strong,

Grow-up and be responsible

For knowing right from wrong, and,

Chorus:

(We will all applaud you when you try hard as you can!)

Give us all a break and we’ll give you a hand!!

MY FATHER’S TOP DRAWER

As a child I was blessed with a curious mind

And a sleepy, incompetent nurse!

One day I discovered my father’s top drawer,

Where I found my old man was perverse!

It’s a wonder I turned out as well as I did

I’m not nearly as warped as before

I’m not sick, God forbid! I was only a kid,

Who grew up in his father’s top drawer!

Devices and diagrams, naked toy dolls,

There were magazines and pictures and cards!

And a pen with a lady, when turned upside-down

Who discarded her black leotards!

It was scary to find what my Dad had on his mind!

And the feelings that came over me!

I tried hard to stay calm, but how could I tell Mom,

His disease was hereditary!!

It’s a wonder I turned out as well as I did

Readjustment is really a chore!

I found Pandora’s box there, under his socks,

When I opened my father’s top drawer!

A hotwater bottle with buttocks and breasts,

An amazing assortment of smut

That pornography there under his underwear

Got me into this sexual rut!

I grew older and brought home all my friends,

We’d sneak in and spend long afternoons!

And I never got caught, thought I think my Dad knew

I was selling them his long white balloons!!

It’s a wonder I turned out as well as I did

Now I’m older and I know the score!

I’ve got kids of my own, who’ll be pure when they’re grown,

’Cause there’s a lock on their father’s top drawer!!

PETER COMMENTS ON THE SONGS - Part 2

1. GOOD TIME is a story about a pick up in a bar. It’s played out every night in thousands of cities around our country. She’s married, and even though he “scores”, he still feels empty. Sex makes us feel better, even if it's only a temporary fix. The chase and game of seduction can become a way of life. We fantasize and are constantly "on the make" in search of someone who can give us the relief we want. Pornography and the secret meetings that end up in bed make us feel alive and validated. If we can get someone else to "go all the way" with us, then we must be okay. As with other addictive behaviors, eventually we need larger more powerful doses.

2. It’s eye-opening to see the resistance some audiences have to singing along in public with IT’S MY PENIS. It brings up masturbation, abusive power, shame and guilt and alienation. I had an ad lib that went, “If you’re uncomfortable singing this word, well, that’s okay. You could practice, just roll it around in your mouth a little, see how it feels!” Friends said that was too extreme and that people wouldn’t use the song at all if I did it. I make note of it here to illustrate the depth to which this negativity about penises runs. One of the worst epithets men use is to call someone else a “cocksucker!”, while the ability to do that well is seen as a desireable virtue in a female partner. Our penis is as much a part of our body as our finger, but it’s so loaded with symbolism that it doesn’t have much of a chance to just be.

3. DON’T PUT YOUR HAND IN MY PANTS, JUST ’CAUSE WE’RE IN LOVE is a favorite song of teens. It’s about setting boundaries and speaking up for ourselves. This too is a good song for singing in a group. I’m hoping someday to see a high school football band do It for the half-time show.

4. LOOK AT THE CEILING is written from the point of view of a young girl who dissociates during her abuse in order to survive. Incest leaves scars we can't see. As with other sexual crimes in this country, victims often feel guilty about having been involved. This song is used in treatment programs, classes, training workshops, and in private practice to help survivors unlock feelings. It’s an on-going struggle to learn how to recover from this kind of emotional trauma. What seems to help the most is contact with other survivors who have learned some healthy skills for coping successfully.

5. LOVE IS THE ONLY MEDICINE is about healing from the abusive relationships. We stay in unpleasant situations, because at least we know what to expect. We need love to heal our emotional injuries, but we also need a "safety net" of people to support us. There’s an important connection between our emotional state and our physical health. Love is an essential ingredient for a sense of self worth and wellness, healthy immune system, and the maintenance of a balanced life.

6. MY BODY has beern used in self-protection programs for kids on three continents. It’s saved kids’ lives. It teaches children that they can be the stewards of their own bodies, and that there are things they can do to protect themselves and keep themselves safe and healthy. This includes eating healthy food, getting enough exercise and being careful about doing things which are risky or dangerous. In many child abuse cases the children did not realize that they had the right to say "NO!" or to ask for help. It’s an important messge for all ages and even for other species. Animal rights activists used this song for a “Save The Whales” benefit. “My teeth were made to chew food just like yours, not to be scrimshawed and sold in your stores!” The kid’s version is preceeded by the adult version which focuses on reproductive rights.

7. The LETTER TO MR. BROWN lists a number of ways teachers can touch children appropriately. It also models an honest and healthy negotiation between the kids and their teacher. They noticed a change in his behavior, and rather than ignore or discount their "funny feelings", they write him a letter and talk about it openly. We don't get into trouble for touching children appropriately. We get into trouble for touching inappropriately! When kids aren’t touched appropriately, they're more susceptible to inappropriate touching! We need to know we’re worthwhile, and touching lets us know that in a way that no words can convey. A child looking for a caring hug should never have to be confused by a goal-oriented sexual caress.

8. We always have the right to BACK UP! There are times when we struggle to get ourselves into a situation, only to find that it’s uncomfortable once we’re there. Being alive is a series of attempts and mistakes, mixed in with our successes. This is a good reminder for kids, and for adults who especially hate making mistakes. It might also be useful to remember this when dating, so I wrote a verse for teens. “Once when I was on a date, my date said ‘it’s too hard to wait. I felt that soft tongue in my ear, so I said REAL LOUD so we both could hear. Back up, back up. You won’t shack up if you back up, back up, back up. Give yourself some slack and just get back.” If we feel like we’re headed in a direction we don’t want to go, we can back up.

9. STRANGERS teaches kids safety rules. Personal safety is important nowadays, whether you’re a school age child, a young woman on a blind date, or a man walking alone to his car at night. The principles are the same.

10. LET'S TRADE BUTTS was written with teenagers in mind. It addresses feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, shame and criticism. Most of us are never completely satisfied with how we look. We want to be taller or thinner or our hair a different color or texture, or for some body part to be bigger or smaller. Our appearance seems to be the ticket to acceptance from others. Since we admire everyone else's good qualities, why don't we just trade body parts with our friends! The grass will always look greener until we accept ourselves.

11. GIVE YOURSELF A HAND suggests that masturbation might be a healthy alternative to sexual harassment. It addresses how we act out sexually then blame it on our hormones. ("You say it's not your fault, so it's got to be your glands!") If we can lay the blame somewhere else, then we don’t have to be responsible for our behavior. Masturbation is a normal, healthy personal experience when we’re not using it compulsively to hide from painful feelings. And men are changing. We’re learning to take care of ourselves without using other people. We’re learning how to support each other and talk to each other about how we're feeling. That didn’t happen much in previous generations.

12. MY FATHER’S TOP DRAWER addresses pornography and family secrets and guilt. It brings up "condoms" in a humorous way and can be used to discuss safe sexual practices. As boys, we grow-up in a culture where pornography is a multi-million dollar industry. If sexuality is one color in the rainbow of possible human expression, some men see that band of color as 85 per cent of the rainbow! We don’t even notice the other colors when we’re so focused on sex. At the end of the song, the singer does NOT throw away his pornography, instead he tightens his security so his children won't be exposed. This is NOT politically correct behavior, but recovery doesn’t happen overnight, and gentleness begins at home. We each work on our own baggage at our own rate.