In The Hospital

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IN THE HOSPITAL BUY IT NOW!!

If It Doesn’t Have Me (Bill Harley) Samit And The Dragon

A Friend Like Me Needle-ee Noodle-ee (Pefley & Alsop)

Let’s Face It! New Ground

Peggy The Quadrapus (Harley & Alsop) The Castle Dream (Bill Harley)

My Little Clock While I’m Sleepin’ (Grimm & Alsop)

Inspection (Pefley & Alsop) Take A Step

IF IT DOESN’T HAVE ME

by Bill Harley

Just about now they’re all getting up

My sister, my brother, my mom and my pop

Dad’s in a hurry and Tommy moves slow

They’re all getting dressed, getting ready to go

But down in the kitchen, who sits in my chair?

Who lets out the dog when I’m not there?

Who rides my bike, who wears my clothes?

Who tells my sister to go blow her nose?

Is an airplane an airplane if it doesn’t have wings?

Is a song really there if nobody sings it?

If it doesn’t have branches can you call it a tree?

Is it really my family if it doesn’t have me?

In my class at school I see it all

They’re hanging their coats up out in the hall

Mrs. Tomasso assigns us our work

And Dennis Gillespie still acts like a jerk

But who helps Miss Randall with the library books?

And who gets all Mr. Sinclair’s dirty looks?

Who sticks the pencils down in the air vents?

And who loans Rob Bartleson twenty-five cents?

Is an airplane an airplane if it doesn’t have wings?

Is a song really there if nobody sings it?

If it doesn’t have branches can you call it a tree?

Is it really my school if it doesn’t have me?

I get so tired just lying in bed

Watching these thoughts run around in my head

Sometimes I can’t help but get a little bit scared

Thinking nobody notices that I’m not there

So just don’t forget me, and the things that I do

‘Cause while I’m sitting here I sure don’t forget you

And when somebody visits, I need to know

I’ll ask them again, please tell me it’s so, that

An airplane’s no airplane if it doesn’t have wings

There isn’t a song if nobody sings it

If it doesn’t have branches, don’t call it a tree

And the world’s not the same if it doesn’t have me

A FRIEND LIKE ME

I knew that they’d kill you

Those cafeteria fish sticks

I told ya, “Don’t eat ‘em!

They’re like paper mache!”

But you never listen

And your guts glued together

Then the ambulance came

And took you away

So I brought you some homework

I dropped the rest in a puddle

But I got some fake vomit

That I bought at the store

Go ahead, you can use it

To fool all the nurses

Just wet it and leave it

By your bed on the floor!

Chorus

Y’need a friend like me

T’help ya out when things go wrong

Y’need a friend like me, just like me!

Y’need a friend like me

T’sing you a happy song

Y’need a friend like me, just like me!

Sally said that your lips got

Stuck on that fountain

While drinking some water

By the Principal’s door

You got bigger and bigger

And you fin’ly exploded

And you splattered the hallways

And the bulletin boards!

And then Mr. Wojack

Our fav’rite custodian

Had to scrape you and mop you

Off the walls and the floor

So I came with a bag

To pick up your organs

Awww, think nothing of it

Hey, what’re friends for?!

Chorus

Remember your little finger

Got plugged in the sharpener

The one that mashes our pencils

The one that kills and destroys

Remember Tommy McPherson

He kept cranking the handle

Sucked you in to your elbow

He loves to play with war toys

So you screamed for the teacher

But she was grading some papers

And without even looking

She said “STOP MAKING NOISE!”

By the time I rushed over

You were nothing but shavings

And Tommy was smiling

I guess boys’ll be boys!

Chorus

LET’S FACE IT!

I love the way you laugh

I love the way you smile

I love the way y’act

Y’got your own style

Let’s face it! Let’s face it!

You’re feelin’ blue ‘cause you look diff’rent

It’s no fun when you get funny looks

But life is not a beauty pageant

And pretty covers don’t make good books!

Let’s face it! I love the way you laugh!

Let’s face it! I love the way you smile!

Let’s face it! I love the way y’act!

Let’s face it! Y’got your own style!

Let’s face it! Let’s face it!

Now ev’rybody gets embarrassed

That’s just the way we are

If we’re alive, then we’re not perfect

Ev’rybody’s got some scars!

Let’s face it! Sometimes you’re feelin’ great

Let’s face it! Sometimes you wanna die

Let’s face it! You’re feelin’ sorry, mate

Let’s face it! That’s where the problem lies

Let’s face it! Do you love the way you laugh?

Let’s face it! Love yourself with all your heart?

Let’s face it! Do you love the way y’act?

Let’s face it! Don’t y’think it’s time t’start?

You’ve got strength and courage

Y’got personality

Y’got great taste in friends, y’know?

And you’re humble, just like me!!

Let’s face it! Sometimes you’re feelin’ great

Let’s face it! Sometimes you’re fallin’ apart

Let’s face it! Sometimes y’hesitate

Let’s face it! T’love yourself with all your heart!

Let’s face it! Don’t worry ‘bout what you’re not!

Let’s face it! Think about the things y’got!

Let’s face it! He loves the way you laugh!

Let’s face it! She loves the way you smile!

Let’s face it! We love the way y’act!

Let’s face it! Y’got your own style!

Let’s face it! Ev’rybody loves your style!

Let’s face it! Well, almost ev’rybody

Let’s face it! There’s this one dude I know

Let’s face it! Who is so into bein’ cool and actin’ hot

Let’s face it! That he doesn’t know what t’make of you!

Let’s face it! I mean, you bust his marbles!

Let’s face it! Yeah! He’s like checkin’ you out,

Checkin’ you out!

Let’s face it! “Look at that style!!” he’s sayin’

Let’s face it! See, he doesn’t have his own style

Let’s face it! He’s afraid t’be himself,

Thinks no one will like him, y’know?

Let’s face it! Yeah! Let’s face it, it’s just great bein’ ourselves!

Let’s face it!

PEGGY THE QUADRAPUS

(A Story by Bill Harley & Peter Alsop)

- Available in the Guide for Parents, Nurses and

Others Who Care booklet that accompanies the songs-

MY LITTLE CLOCK

You’ve got a big clock

I’ve got a little clock too

Your clock’s for your time

Your big clock pushes you

When you’re in a hurry

My little clock’s pushed aside

Y’make me use your clock

Y’don’t care about my clock’s size

When your clock is ticking

Then everything changes

You haven’t got time to explain

I have to use your time

You push me and pull me

And it never enters your brain, that

You’ve got a big clock

I’ve got a little clock too

My clock’s for my time

Your clock’s time is up to you

Your clock’s important

It’s bigger, it makes more noise

But my clock’s important

Though you think it’s just a toy

You’re only trying

To help me feel better

At least that’s what you say

But I feel angry

I don’t feel better

When m’little clock’s treated this way, ohhh,

You’ve got a big clock

I’ve got a little clock too

I listen to your clock

Please listen to m’little clock too

I’ve only got a little time

Do you have a little time?

A little time on your big clock?

That’s all that I want from you

INSPECTION!

by Penny Pefley & Peter Alsop

INSPECTION! HARMS!

Oh no! Inspection again? They did it before!

Then hundreds of nurses march in the door

With doctors and lab techs, fifty or more!

“C’mon!” they say, “ Now take off your clothes!”

“I can’t!” I say, “I’ll catch cold! I’ll be froze!”

But they take it all off, except for my nose!

They look in your throat, in your ears and your eyes

N’they write on their charts and they look very wise

And y’feel like flypaper covered with flies!

They flip me and flop me and crank-up my bed

They stick their big faces right over my head

N’sometimes their breath is like garlicky bread!

N’each specialist looks for a special disease

The asthma nurse, she always wants me to wheeze

Then she hands me a tissue each time that I sneeze!

An old Doctor checks for earwax and pimples

A lab tech measures the depth of my dimples

An intern tugs on my skin to check skin-pulls!

But the REAL skin checker’s a doctor named Danny

He checks me completely, each wrinkle and cranny

From the wart on my neck to the crack in my fanny!

One mashes my tongue with stick, “Say Ahhhhh!”

So I do, but she squashes too hard for my jaw

So I tell her, “Ahhh-arrgh wah-wah, ARhhhhHHH!”

A physical therapist wiggles my knees

The “hemo” guy’s happy adjusting I.V.s

The nurse who checks toes, she never say’s please

When I go in a bedpan, these people discuss it

It’s gross! They go back in a room where they mush it,

And save it, or something,... at home we just flush it!

They come by with needles and then they begin

To poke extra holes I don’t need in my skin

They keep taking stuff out and putting stuff in!

Like my finger gets poked when the nurse needs more blood

And it trickles a little like drops of red mud

But that’s not enough for her, she needs a flood!

So she squeezes and pulls until more blood comes out

And nobody tells me what it’s all about

And it makes me so mad that I just want to SHOUT!!

Inspection! Inspection! There’s just no excuse

To treat me this way, ... this is child abuse!

So I’ll go to the top!! I’ll call Dr. Seuss!

He’ll make them all leave! He’ll be very polite!

And he’ll understand when I talk this way, right?

And he might even hug me, who knows, he just might!

So listen you kids, if you’re feeling stressed

And you’re in the hospital, we would suggest

That you better go home if you want any rest!!

Words by Peter Alsop & Penny Pefley, Music by Peter Alsop

SAMIT AND THE DRAGON

Every evening, just at bedtime

Samit puts his armor on

Jumps up on his great white stallion

Grabs his sword and then he’s gone

Riding faster than the wind

He races through the countryside

Moonlight streaming down on him

He’s off to fight the Dragon that’s been

Burning him inside

Soon he sees the giant body

Of a little boy asleep

He rides up to the giant ear

And listens to the giant breathe

He knows the giant’s really him

And he must go inside, it seems

He’s bigger than a mountain range

And Samit knows the Dragon’s waiting

In the Land of Dreams

Then Samit yells his battle cry!

Hah-Ba-Rheee! Hallooo-ah-lay!

The stallion rears and charges in

And Samit knows they’re both afraid

Through the twisting, turning tunnels

Hoofbeats pound the passageways

Along the bloody, steaming rivers

Within the giant’s neck, brave Samit

Gallops through the maze.

Through the viney sinew forest

Under tendon trees and bone

They can feel the Dragon roaring

Soon they’ll reach the Dragon’s home

Then through the smoke of burning flesh

The Dragon’s laugher cuts the air

He throws his hot and stinking breath

The stallion trips, brave Samit falls

Into the Dragon’s lair!

Then Samit sees the Dragon’s eye

He sees the hint of fear within

Could it be?! Hah-Rruuu! Hah-Rraii!

The Dragon is afraid of him!!?

The power runs through Samit’s arms

He feels the rainbow light inside

He draws his mighty healing sword

And strikes the fire-breathing monster

Right between the eyes!

The Dragon knows his days are numbered

His fire’s gone, he turns to run

He’s growing smaller, growing weaker

And Samit knows the time has come

He raises up his healing sword

He’s stronger than the Foul Disease!

The Dragon screams and disappears

And now, the giant body of this boy

Can heal in peace.

He whistles for his stallion, who

Comes running to his Master’s side

And Samit leaps up on his back

And off again for home they ride

Off again for home they ride.

Every evening, just at bedtime

Samit puts his armor on

Jumps up on his great white stallion

Grabs his sword and then he’s gone.

NEEDLE-EE, NOODLE-EE

by Penny Pefley & Peter Alsop

If needles were noodles, I’d cook up ca-boodles

So no one would ever get hurt!

If I was the head of this hospital here

I’d bring in a dumptruck of sterilized dirt

I’d say “Let the kids play! Do whatever they say!

And give them whatever they want for desert!”

Needle-ee, noodle-ee, needle-ee, noodle-ee

Needle-ee, noodle-ee, needle-ee, nuu!

If doctors and nurses would rock to-and-fro

We could sit on their heads and say “Giddy-up! Go!”

And ride them around and collect all the pills

Then pile them up into sliding-down hills

Take off the stethoscopes! Chuck the white coats!

Slide down the pills using bedpans for boats!

Chorus

If syringes were squirt guns, I’d find some big ones

And fill them with punch or with soup left from lunch

I’d go under my bed and when somebody said

“Hey, that kid isn’t here! Where’d that kid disappear?!”

Well, ... I might squirt their shoe,

Just to see what they’d do!

If elephants came here to get themselves fixed

They’d sneeze with their trunks, blow the paint off the bricks!

And a kid-type thermometer isn’t so fine

For a giant big elephant’s temperature time

You’ve got to be careful! Don’t lose it inside,

‘Cause if you get him mad, whoa! There’s NO place to hide!

Chorus

If wheelchairs flew, I know what I’d do,

I’d float down the hall when the Doc comes to call

N’make-up a story ‘bout hospital food

N’say “Doc, ... my dinner just tasted sooo good,

That I saved some for YOU! C’mon! Take a big bite!”

Then the doctor would say, “Are you sure you’re all right?!”

If germs looked like worms, we’d dip them in ink

And make them paint lines as they drain down the sink!

If pillows could talk, I know mine would say

“Get your head out of bed and go outside and play!”

If things in our song haven’t happened, well, then,

Maybe we’d better just sing it again!

Chorus

Words by Peter Alsop & Penny Pefley, Music by Peter Alsop

NEW GROUND

The leaf falls from the tree

The sap runs deep

Snow in the winter

Covers seeds that sleep

Sun melts the ice

And the warm Earth gives

Water to the sprouts

And the green world lives.

Watch for a sign

Keep your heart alive

The spirit breaks new ground

Whenever something dies

Watch the shadows closely

The tears will clean your eyes

The spirit breaks new ground

Whenever something dies

You may have lost a toy

You may have lost a dream

You may have lost a friend

Someone who you need

Your chest can feel the pain

That makes it hard to breathe

But your love will always stay

And the pain will leave.

Chorus

THE CASTLE DREAM

(A Story by Bill Harley)

- Available in the Guide for Parents, Nurses and