CHRIS MOOSE HOLIDAYS BUY IT NOW!!
Chris Moose The Night Before Hannukah
Little Tree G-Gee It’s Warm Out Here
Daddy’s Roll The Toothfairy, Easter Bunny, Santa and God
Buy Me Something Clean Out The Attic
When Jesus Was A Kid Earthsong
CHRIS MOOSE
Up near the North Pole, where it gets real cold
There lives a great big Moose named Chris
One day he just stopped by Santa’s workshop
To help Santa with his Christmas list.
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, I’m a Merry Chris Moose!
Hi there Santa! Tell me what to do!!
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, a hairy, Merry Chris Moose!
I came over to help you!
Then he bumped a table that was a bit unstable
And a whole wall of toys started to sway, (CRASH!!)
It just missed two elves who might have hurt themselves
If they hadn’t jumped quickly out of the way
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, I’m a clumsy Chris Moose!
That was an accidental thing to do
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, a hairy, Merry Chris Moose!
Sorry Santa, let me make it up to you!
So Santa said “Okay Chris, maybe some Christmas
You could help me bring the kids their toys
But I’ve got reindeer, to help me this year
And I wouldn’t want to scare the girls and boys!”
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, I’m a jolly Chris Moose!
Oh Boy! Santa’s gonna let me pull the sleigh!
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, a hairy, Merry Chris Moose!
I’m gonna fly with Santa some Christmas Day!
Then late one December, I’m sure that you remember
When colds and flu bugs get inside our head
The flu bugs this year, infected Santa’s reindeer
And Santa had to tell them all to stay in bed
Rudolph said “Achoo!” cause, his nose was full of mucous
It was a sort of pink and luminescent goo
Prancer was wheezing and Dancer was sneezing
And Donner and Blitzen had runny noses too!
So it was Christmas Eve and no one could believe it
When Santa decorated Chris with Moosel-toe
His antlers full of lights, they took off through the night
And Chris sang louder than Santa’s “HO! HO! HO!” He said,
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, I’m a Merry Chris Moose!
Flying over rooftops, pulling Santa’s sleigh
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, a hairy, Merry Chris Moose!
Helping out the reindeer on Christmas Day!
The story’s almost over, the deer are eating clover
They’re playing with the antelopes, out on the range
And Chris has painted his nose, it’s like a giant red rose
“Next time we go flying I won’t look so strange!”
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, a very Merry Chris Moose
Yes Sir, Santa! I can pull your sleigh!
Chris Moose, Chris Moose, a hairy, Merry Chris Moose!
A very merry Chris Moose to you this Chris Moose Day
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
LITTLE TREE
Once upon a time, in a big forest, there was a little pine tree
who knew that she was special. Her name was Little Tree.
“I’m special!” she would say to the older trees.
Rabbit came by to visit her. She was Little Tree’s best friend.
“Squirrel says you’re nuts Little Tree! He says you’re just like
every other tree in the forest!”
“Nu-uh! I’m special!”
She’d known it in her heart, ever since she was a pine cone!!
Now Little Tree grew in the shade of Old Grandfather Ponderosa,
one of the tallest and wisest of trees.
“Everything on Mother Earth is special Little Tree! Every bear
and every ant, every blade of grass has it’s own special story, and your story,.”
“I don’t mean to be disrespectful Grandfather, but why are you
telling me this?”
“A-hem! Because you are a tree, Little Tree, so your story will be
like the story of other trees. You will grow in the Spring rain, and you will
feel the Summer Breeze dance through your new needles. Your branches will
hold nests for Jaybird and Wren. And in the Fall, when the frost is on your
bark, your trunk will protect Beetle, and give Spider places to spin her webs.
In the Winter, when the snow makes a blanket around you, your roots will be
a home for Mole or Gopher. And after a long time, you will die and decay and
turn back into the earth, to nourish other plants and trees. That’s just the way
it is.”
“Nu-uh!” No one had ever talked to Grandfather like that!
“Nu-uh! I’m not sure how yet, but I know I’m special!”
“Ahem! Well Little Tree, you are special, but even your special story
is connected to all the other stories of Mother Earth. Listen to the Earthsong.
It will remind you.”
“I don’t hear any ‘Earthsong’ Grandfather!”
“Shhhhh! Listen to the voice of the wind.”
Little Tree listened as hard as she could, but she didn’t hear anything.
“Eh, what are you doing Little Tree?”
“I’m listening to the wind! Now be quiet so I can listen better!”
“I can hear the wind! I have great ears. You don’t even have ears,
you’re a tree! How do you expect to hear the wind!?”
“I can hear you, can’t I? I listen like a tree listens! Now be quiet or go
away.”
“Okay!” Rabbit decided to nibble a sprout.
That’s when Little Tree heard it. It was faint at first, then it got louder.
“Pine Tree, Jaybird, Wind, and Moose, Bear and Otter, Wolf and Goose”
“I heard it Rabbit!! In the voice of the wind. I heard the Earthsong!
It sang my name!”
“I heard it too! What’s it mean Little Tree?”
“It means I’m special Rabbit!”
“I hear Winter comin’, that’s all I hear!” Squirrel interrupted.
He was digging a hole to bury an acorn. “Winter’s comin’! Leaves are fallin’!
Then it’s chrismisseevie!”
“What’s chrismisseevie?”
“It’s a people-word for ‘cold outside’. I know about people. They’re nuts!”
“You think everyone is nuts, Squirrel.”
“Well I’m right when it comes to people and their famileevies!” Squirrel
dropped his acorn into the hole and covered it with dirt.
Jaybird squawked from up on a branch, “What’s a famileevie?”
“It’s a gang of people with a couple of big ones, and some noisy little ones
who run around alot! When chrismisseevie comes, famileevies come to the forest
with an axe, and they chop down a little pine tree just like Little Tree here!! Then
they take you home and put you in their house and hang little colored sparkly,
dangly light thingys all over you!”
“They pick out one special tree?”
“Yep! I’ve seen it! So be careful, or a famileevie might come and make a
chrismisseevie tree out of you!!” Squirrel left without saying ‘goodbye’.
“That was kinda scary!”
“I don’t know Rabbit. I might like being a special christmaseevie tree!
It would prove to all these other trees that I was special wouldn’t it! Well, if a
famileevie comes into the forest, I’ll get them to take me home!! Wow, maybe that’s
my story, to be a chrismisseevie tree someday! Maybe that’s why I’ve always felt
special!”
The days got shorter and the air became crispy. Leaves turned brilliant
orange, red and gold, and the wind swirled them onto the chilly forest floor.
Most of the birds flew away to warmer places in the south. Jaybird stayed.
One morning after the first snow had fallen, she flew up and landed in one of
Little Tree’s branches, flapping and squawking!
“Mmmuggh-lie! Mmmuugghlie rrrr-cmmigg!”
“What’s the matter Jay bird? I can’t understand you!” Jaybird dropped
the plastic bag she was holding in her beak!
“People! Little Tree, there’s a famileevie in the forest looking for a
chrismisseevie tree, just like Squirrel said! They’ve got an axe and they’re headed
this way!”
“But, ... but I’m not ready!!”
“Look, I brought some sparkly plastic to decorate your branches, so
they’ll notice you!”
“Oh thank you Jaybird! Hang it on one of my twigs! Look! Here comes
Rabbit!”
“They’re coming up the hill! I’d love to scare them away, but I’m too scared!
I’ll miss you Little Tree! Good-bye!”
“Good-bye Little Tree!! Bye! Bye!” And they left Little Tree alone,
as the people came closer and closer.
“I’ll stand up as tall as I can, and stretch out my branches, so they’ll pick me
to be their chrismisseevie tree! Oh yeah, it’s a famileevie alright, with two big people
and two noisy little ones, just like Squirrel said!. And that big one’s got a long stick
with a metal piece at the end! That must be the axe they’re gonna use to chop me
down! I wonder what it will be like to leave the forest?”
The people stopped right in front of Little Tree. Then one of the little
ones spoke.
“This one would make a good Christmas Tree Dad!”
“That’s a good one alright.” The big person reached up and removed
Jaybird’s plastic bag from Little Tree’s branch and put it in his pocket.
“Ahh, it amazes me how people can leave trash around in a beautiful
place like this.”
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe they ought to pick a
different tree!”
“Yes, this is a nice one, but let’s hike up a litte further and look around.”
And they left.
Little Tree couldn’t believe it!
“What happened?!! They were all ready to take me home and they
just left me here!!. They even took my plastic decoration, so now I’m not
special at all!!”
She was so sad she started to cry. Sap ran down her trunk. She was
miserable!! And then she heard it again.
“Raven, Spider, Crab and Snail, Catfish, Heron, Pond and Whale”
“The wind isn’t even blowing and I can hear the Earthsong. Maybe the
Great Spirit is trying to tell me something. But what? What is it?”
Rabbit ran up to her! “You didn’t go Little Tree! You’re still here!
I’m glad you’re not special!”
“She is special Rabbit!” Grandfather Ponderosa’s voice boomed
through the forest.
“You needed more decorations!”
“She doesn’t need decorations Jaybird, she needs organization!
If you’re not organized, you never get anything done, right Grandfather?!”
“Those who are always busy organizing their lives, Squirrel, cannot hear
the Earthsong. When you believe that The Great Spirit takes care of you, then you
find your own story.”
“In all deference, your majes-tree Sir, we need to get organized to survive!
Where would I be if I didn’t gather nuts for the winter, huh?!”
“A-hem! Do you not see Squirrel that gathering nuts is part of a squirrel’s
story. What good would it do for a dragonfly to gather nuts? The bears do not get
organized before they hibernate for the winter, and everyone gets a cave. And seeds
have no one to tell them how many branches to grow, yet they grow to fullness
without being organized, because they know their own story.”
“I know I’m special Grandfather, but maybe if I wait for the Great Spirit
to help me find my story, then I won’t have to try so hard to be special.”
“No one knows what surprises The Great Spirit has for us, Little Tree!.
That’s the wonder of life!”
“The famileevie! They’re coming back!” Rabbit was always the first to
hear things.
“I’m outta here!! I don’t want to end up as no chrismissevie tree!”
“I’m all out of decorations!”
As the people came over the ridge, Little Tree heard the small one say,
“There she is Dad! The best tree in the whole forest!“
“Okay! If this is the one you want.”
They stopped quietly right in front of her.
“I can’t believe this! Are they going to make me their chrismisseevie tree
after all? And here comes the big one with his axe! At least I think it’s an axe. I’ve
never seen one before, but I know an axe has a long handle and a metal piece on one
end to do the chopping! This is it! I’m not afraid! I’m not afraid! Goodbye Rabbit!
Goodbye Squirrel and Jaybird! Goodbye Grandfather!”
One of the little ones shouted, “C’,mon Dad just do it!!”
“Okay, here goes!” the big one said.
“Be careful with that shovel dear!” the other big one said. “We don’t
want to hurt her roots! If we’re going to dig up this little tree and replant her in
our front yard and decorate her this Christmas, she’s gonna need all her roots!”
“I’m being careful! Don’t worry, she’ll live for a long time and grow
to be part of our family.”
“What’s this?!! That thing is a shovel, not an axe!! They’re going to
dig me up and take me home with them!! They’re not going to chop me down!
ALLLL - RIIGHT!!”
Little Tree was so excited, she thought she might explode into little toothpicks!
One of the little ones pointed to Grandfather Ponderosa and asked,
“Will our little tree get to be as tall as this one?”
“She will if we take good care of her!”
“And when we grow up and have our own kids, we’ll come home for visits,
and we’ll decorate her every year, and she’ll be our very own special family
Christmas tree forever!“
Little Tree felt the earth around her roots being loosened carefully, then
she was gently lifted up as the family of people wrapped her roots in a blanket.
She heard her friends off in the woods.
“Goodbye Little Tree! Bye”
“Hey, you’re not nuts!! Good luck”
“We’ll miss you! You were right! You are special!”
“A-hem! Fare well Little Tree! Have a wonderful story, and remember that
we love you too!”
As Little Tree was carried slowly out of the forest, the family sang to her:
“Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, much pleasure doth thou bring me!
For ev’ry year the Christmas Tree, brings to us all both joy and glee,
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, much pleasure doth thou bring me!”
Little Tree knew that now she was part of the people’s story. And she knew
that she would grow tall and strong and old with them. “I will give this famileevie
shade in the Summer, and they can decorate me with shiny lights to celebrate their
holy days in the Winter!” And she heard the Earthsong in the voice of the wind again.
“Rabbit, Clover, Owl and Bee, Redtail Hawk and Great Salt Sea
Pine Tree, Jaybird, Wind, and Moose, Bear and Otter, Wolf and Goose”
And she knew that her own story was still unfolding, and that it was
part of the Great Story of Mother Earth, for we are all connected to each other!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
THE GIFT
I know what I want for Christmas
I wrote to Santa long ago
There’s only one thing on my list
Just listen Mom, please don’t say “No!”
I’m sorry you got mad last night Mom
I’m stubborn, just like you, and strong.
You show me how to do things right, an’
You hug me tight when something’s wrong.
I love the things you do, such as,
At bedtime when we read a book.
An’ you don’t yell when you get mad,
You just squint your eyes and look
But when you cough, I think you’re choking.
I get so scared, I have to say,
For Christmas Mom, would you quit smoking?
Throw your cigarettes away?
Don’t burn out in one great big blaze
Or I’ll make my squint eyes at you!
I need you here for lots more birthdays.
Don’t quit for me Mom, quit for you!
Someday I will have some kids.
And they’ll need “Grandma hugs” a lot.
I need you too Mom, I’m your kid, and,
Well, you’re the only Mom I’ve got!
Your eyes filled with tears last night
When I threatened, “I’d smoke too!”
I feel fears each time you light up
I wish that you would feel scared too
Listen Mom, ‘cause I’m not joking
I don’t want toys on Santa’s sleigh
For Christmas Mom, would you quit smoking?
Throw your cigarettes away!!
I love you Mom, so please, quit smoking,
That’s all I want on Christmas Day.
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
DADDY’S ROLL
Do you really want to eat that Dad?
If you do, you’ll just get mad
We’ve been through this all before
You say you’re full, and then you eat some more
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control
Hangs over his belt, like a candle that’s melted!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
You buy health food when you shop
But we don’t wanna eat what you eat, Pop
We know your self control is bad
So we’ll finish off your ice cream Dad,
(Just to help you stay healthy!)
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control
Our hands are full, whenever we pull,
On my Daddy’s roll!! It’s outta control!
This morning he jumped out of bed
Looked in the mirror, then he said
“I’ve got “Dunlop’s Disease” real bad!
I “done lopped over my belt!” (Oh Daaaaaad!)
He sucks his stomach in real far
As he offers me half of his candy bar
He holds his breath as his face turns red
He was out of air when I said,
Kid: My, my Dad! What a big chest you’ve got!
Dad: (holding breath) All muscles!
Kid: Can I stick my finger in your bellybutton??!
Dad: NO! Hey! NO! Don’t do that! Cut it out!
Kid: Well I think I found the secret release button here Dad! Look!
Dad: Stop right now or I’ll, ....(huge release of air with giggles & flop)
Kid: Wow! Dad, is THAT all YOU!!
Dad: Now look what you’ve done!
Help me pick this up and tuck it back in here!!
So work out Dad, it’s not too late
Push yourself away from your plate
Y’say “I’m gonna trim this roll off me!”
Then you sit down and watch T.V.!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control
Sometimes he tries, to exercise
But my Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
You make fun of yourself, it’s true!
But your roll doesn’t bother anyone but you!
If you need to cry ‘cause you’re feeling sad
I’ll give you a hug, ‘cause I love you Dad
And I love your roll, tho’ it’s outta control
Hangs over your belt, like a candle that’s melted!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
My Daddy’s roll, is outta control!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
CHRISTMAS CHEER
Dashing through the snow, to the liquor store
We ran out of alcohol, we’re going to get more! (Oh boy!)
Dad has had a few drinks, he’s really got a load
HEY!!! Look out Dad! Boy! You almost ran us off the road! Oh!
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
I hate when someone drinks!
Grown-ups just act stupid
And their breath, it really stinks! Yeah,
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
Taste it, you’ll throw up!
If I have to drink at Christmas
I would rather not grow up!
That was pretty scary, that was pretty close!
Dad has had so many, he’s got Rudolph’s big red nose!
He runs into the store, grabs a six-pack off the shelf
Then he chugs another one to calm his Christmas self, Oh!
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
I hate when someone drinks!
Grown-ups just act stupid
They should pour it down their sinks! Oh,
Christmas cheer, Christmas cheer
Taste it, you’ll throw up!
If I have to drink at Christmas
I would rather not grow up!
Mom is in the kitchen, with the family recipes
Brandy in the eggnog, and the Christmas pudding please!
She’s baking Christmas cookies, rum balls for us all
Christmas isn’t Christmas without the alcohol!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music, (BMI)
BUY ME SOMETHING!
I’m just a little kid
With a mouth beneath my nose
When someone takes me shopping
This is how it goes, it says
Buy me something, something, something!
Buy me something, something, something!
Buy me something, buy me something,
Buy me, buy me, buy me, buy me,
Buy me something, pleeeeease!!
Even if I have one
My mouth says “I need two!”
And if Mom tells me “No!”
Here’s what it will do, ... it says
Chorus
We’re s’posed to look for presents
For my family
But my mouth doesn’t care about
Anyone but me! It says
“One of these! Or one of those!
Or that one over there!
Hurry! Buy me ANY-thing!
I don’t really care, just”
Chorus
My parents really hate it
They have to count to ten
They say they’ll never, ever, ever
Buy me things again!
I’ve really got a problem
My mouth just loves to shop!
Maybe YOU could buy me something
THAT might make it stop
(Spoken: Wha’d’ya think? It’s worth a try!
You could prob’ly save a cute little kid
From getting killed by an angry parent!
Look it’s not my fault if my mouth has
some kind of rare shopping compulsion, is it?
You could just put it on your charge card?
Then you won’t have to pay right away?)
Chorus (more manic)
I’m going crazy
I can’t stand it
Please DON’T make me leave
This store, empty-handed!!!
Dream Sequence
Buy me something expensive
Something new
Spend lots, don’t be a cheapskate
Or I’ll get mad at you
Buy me things of great value
Stuff to save
I want giant collections of
Ev’rything ever made!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1994, Moose School Music (BMI)
WHEN JESUS WAS A KID
It’s Christmas time again and the mall is really weird
Everyone gets stressed out Christmas shopping every year
I have to stop and wonder, looking at my Christmas list
When Jesus was a kid, would He be doing this?
I know He was a baby, but did He ever cry?
Did Jesus wet His diapers or were they always dry?
Did He use a bottle before He used a cup?
Did Jesus throw things on the floor for Mary to pick up?
Did Mary ever spank him? Does the Bible say?
Did Jesus scream and holler when things didn’t go His way?
I know He was a baby, but I wonder what He did
When He was about, my age, ... when Jesus was a kid?
Did He have birthday parties? I like to think He might
But then I have to wonder, well, like, who did He invite?
Were there other kids in bathrobes who played tag the way we do?
Was He bummed out when His birthday gifts said “Merry Christmas” too!?
Did Jesus put on sunscreen, or did He wear a floppy hat?
Living in a desert, you can sunburn, (snap!), just like that!
And He prob’ly hated eating “camel milk with mushy peas”
Or can Saviors just get out of eating gross things when They please?
N’He prob’ly hoped His Dad would let Him have a B-B gun
I mean His father Joseph, you know, not the other One
It’s not like it’s a war toy, Jesus wouldn’t hurt a flea
And He’d never point at anyone, He’d be as safe as me!
And if His mother found it, she wouldn’t make a scene
She’d NEVER hide it in the attic, no, she was NOT that mean
He wanted “Peace On Earth” and “Good Will” to kids
I mean He was a kid Himself, so I’m sure He really did
We fight wars and we spill oil, we mess up the sand
I bet a kid like Jesus prob’ly wouldn’t understand
He’d see us Christmas shoppers trying hard to close our eyes
To the homeless people sleeping near expensive stuff we buy
I might be wrong, but I’m a kid too, so I might be right
If we asked that kid Jesus, “Is all this stuff all right?
Can we buy Christmas spirit if we spend lots of dough?”
Well I think that kid Jesus, would just say “No!”
Christmas isn’t about shopping, it’s about the way we care
It’s thinking “What would that kid Jesus do if He was here?”
So if some kid you know, messes up some thing they did,
Remember, Jesus was a human too, when He was a kid
Acting like a kid at Christmas, should not be a sin
Remember when we do it, we’re only acting just like Him
So this Christmas, let’s just BE NICE to each other, don’t you see?
When Jesus was a kid, He was a lot like you and me!
When Jesus was a kid, He needed love like you and me!