BARNYARD SWEETS (Not currently available for sale)
I Got No Kick It’s No Fun To Be A W.A.S.P. Anymore
Hot Top’s Song Wouldn’t You Like To Be Rich!?
The Ballad of Bunny GaLore Don’t Sit Back
I GOT NO KICK
I got no kick!
My feet trip me when I walk
I got no kick!
Some times I dribble when I talk
Now I can’t bare to watch my hair
Fall slowly to the floor,
My rug looks like me,
Bugs won’t even
Bite me anymore!
I got no kick!
My eyelids click and I see spots!
I got no kick!
I fergit and pick my nose a lot!
All my skin has worn so thin
I have to wear tight clothes
Cause it’s no fun to leave my organs
Everywhere I go!
I got no kick!
(Cough! Cough!)
I got no kick! I got no kick!
I got no kick!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1974, Moose School Music (BMI)
Nuclear reactor flowing
With Atomic Waste
Twenty thousand years it’s glowing
What if it escapesssssssssss!
Radiation – is coming to get me
It’s burny and it’s bad and it’s blowing my way
Radiation – it’s hot and it’s cold, it kills young and old
Now it’s over, life is over! It’s over, I’m told –
Solar energy could save us
But I’m growing sick
No more time, the sun is fading
Over much too, over much too, over much too
Quick!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music (BMI)
ALIVE
I ride through the circus
I open my eyes
Laugh at the lions
The clowns make me cry
The ring master sings
He’s as crazy as me
Life is so full
If you look you can see!
Alive. I’m alive!
With a love for the jugglers I know
Though there’s doubts when the acrobats
Leave me alone
Alive, and afraid
That the freak show is me
Alive with a will to break free!
You can see
I’m alive.
I’m alive.
So alive – Thank-you!
I’m alive!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music (BMI)
THE QUEEN
The Queen, she craves my body
But her face gives me the hives
I know she’s somewhat odd beee- causzzzzz
She eats her mateszzzz alive!
She say’s she’ll never harm me
But her fetisheszzzz alarm me
I know my stinger’s much too small
For her Coronation – Ball!
The Queen, she craveszzzz my body, well,
You can’t fight, City Hall!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music, (BMI)
HOT TOP’S SONG
Cock-a dooooo, de doodle de dooo!
Yeah!
Cocka, cocka, cocka
Said-a cocka, cocka, cocka,
Cocka, cocka, cocka,
Cocka doodle de doo!
Feels so good!
Struttin’ and a-steppin
Checkin out the yard,
Just a-cuttin’ and a-heppin’
Mornin’ Cow! Hey! What’s happnin’ Pig?
Check m’new spats! Loose, but not too big
And my new green tail feathers,
Mmmmmm – brand new!
I’m gonna have to clue all you little chicks to my
Cocka, cocka, cocka
Said-a cocka, cocka, cocka,
Cocka, cocka, cocka,
Cocka doodle de doo!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music, (BMI)
THE BALLAD OF BUNNY GALORE
Chorus:
I’m just a couple of bucks behind this week
I’m just a couple of bucks behind!
Hop on up to my hutch sometime
I’m just a couple of bucks
I’m just a couple of bucks
I’m just a couple of buck behind!
This girl knows what it’s all about
Bein’ broke is a habit I hate
If you’re a “million-hare” I’ll take your
Ten carrot diamond
If you’re crooked, I can make you straight
Now the Easter Bunny is my main man
Lucky foot, bucky teeth, pink nose
Well I love holdin’ his Easter eggs
And he loves buyin’ my Easter clothes
Chorus
Now there is Thumper, there is Jumper
They are hoppin’ little humpers
And the March Hare comes up too
And Hopsey and Mopsey
Who are both a little flopsey
Cause their rabbit habits have withdrew
I fix Cottontail’s heater
Jack the rabbit’s brother, Peter
Bugs Bunny and his funny friends
All the Briar Patch desires me
Hugh Heffner tries to hire me
But all his bunnies, hah!
They just pre-tend!
Chorus
(Say Bunny hug, is that a carrot in your pocket, or are ya just glad t’see me!)
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1973, Moose School Music, (BMI)
IT’S NO FUN TO BE A W.A.S.P. ANYMORE
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore
All our privileges have vanished into air
All the power and the glory
All the glamour and the fame
Have slipped right through our fingers
They will never come again
And W.A.S.P.s are not genetically designed to be so poor
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore
All W.A.S.P.s are born with psychoanalysts
No one gets a-head without a shrink
We’re economically the best
We’re better looking than the rest
In a suit without a vest, I look undressed
Now don’t you think?
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore
There’s no one left to colonize
No one likes the ethnic jokes that I have memorized
They sit with sullen faces hoping I’ll apologize
And I get the dreadful feeling
That they think I’m a bore!
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore.
(Spoken: Why do moths have shrugged shoulders and flat foreheads!
I don’t know, why do moths have shrugged shoulder and flat foreheads?
Because when you ask them a question, they go like this, (shrugs shoulders)
And when you tell them the answer, they go like this! (slaps forehead)
It was so easy to identify an Aryan
They came from Arlington or Brentwood or from Darien
But the others (who all hate us!) have begun to emulate us
And it’s bound to dissipate us if we marry ‘em!
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore
All the others that we’ve helped have turned on us!
And they bite the hand that fed them
A culture they could trust
When we simply could have left them playing
In the underbrush!
Now they play our game much better
Than we gave them credit for!
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore.
It’s no fun to be a W.A.S.P. anymore.
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1974, Moose School Music, (BMI)
HITTIN’ THE ROAD
I work on a farm, I take things in stride
I don’t horse around, and I’m stable to ride
I eat hay and oats, then I help fertilize
Deep inside I’m a race horse, with no place to go, so
I’m hittin’ the road, I’m off to the track
I’ll be a big winner, or I won’t come back
Out on the cinders, where I want to be
I’m a-hittin’ the road, no more farmin’ for me!
The Kain-tucky Derby will be my first win
I’ll “stir-rup” the dust, and the coins’ll “rein in”
With a pure silver feed bag strapped under my chin
For good luck I’ll wear horse shoes of gold!
Chorus
(If they ask me to stay, I’ll have to say “neiiiiiigh!”)
My agent will call me with contracts to sign
I’ll plug Mustang and Maverick and Pinto this time
“Hello Colt 45? Will you please hold the line?
Y’see this here farmer wants his wagon towed, …
(It really goes against my grain, y’know?)
Chorus
I’m a-hittin’ the road, no more farmin’ for me!
(horse-lips - ahem, caught a chest colt, last night, so I’m a little hoarse today)
(that makes me feel so sad-dle break down and cry)
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1973, Moose School Music (BMI)
I LOVE GETTIN’ TOADED
Croak out any question
“Frog-o-sophical” or not
An’ I’ll smoke out an answer for you
Right here on the s-“pot!”
If m’logic gets dis-“jointed”
An your question gets forgot, it’s 'cause
I love gettin’ toaded
I am, all the time
When I plunk my magic twanger
I am, feelin’ fine!
When m’feet feel neat beneath me
I am, sure that I’m hoppin’
High enough to keep my sea-“weed” dry!
Just in case,
You should call me on the phone
If I start talkin’ funny
If I whisper, if I moan
Well I ain’t dyin’, I’m just tryin’
T’hold in my home-grown!
Chorus
It’s too bad
The way the truth distorts
Lots of folks believe in
Them government reports
That say that gettin’ toaded webs your toes
And gives you warts! (Who cares!?)
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1974, Moose School Music (BMI)
WHOLE HOG LOVE
All my life, I've been wallowin' in sin
A-rollin' and a squooshin' in the mud of my chagrin
So caked with all this evil, I never “sau-sage” skin
But the lord, He’ll take me like I am, that's why
Chorus:
I got a whole hog love
Got a whole hog love
Got a whole hog love of the Lord
(Now listen)
It ain't been easy, no sometimes my life's a boar
I been a rootin' and a-diggin' ‘cause I believe there's something more
Than ending up as chittlin’s hangin’ on that Devil’s door
I been “bacon” the lord t’take me like I am, like I (h)am, like I ham!
Chorus
He's the Old Farmer, runs that pig-pen in the sky
And He pickles all the pigie feet, as they come marchin' by
And his “souiee-souiee-souieeet chariot, will take me to his stye
I been “bacon” the Lord t’take me like I know the ham, like I ham
Chorus (2x)
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1972, Moose School Music (BMI)
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO BE RICH!?
Let’s hear a cheer for free enterprise
Where all the workers do their best
They feel pride every morning when they rise
With the sweet smell of industry
Swelling every breast!! (cough, cough!)
No one’s truly happy
We all do things we don’t like
And understand there’s no one there
To hold your hand through life
So if you have to “step on toes”
Better someone else’s, than yours the saying goes
Grab it while you can, or you’ll come up empty handed
No one likes a loser, they love winners who have dough! Soooo,
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!
You could buy the things you like
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!
Call them “my things”, and you could try things,
Sneaky sly things
And pull them off without a hitch
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!
You can justify things when you’re rich!
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!
There’s nothing wrong with money
It can make good dreams come true
The more you have, the more you get
The more good you can doooooooo!
Buy food for starving youngsters
Buy old folks rocking chairs
Buy banks and oil companies
Make profits selling shares
Buy a CB! 10-4! 10-4!
Buy some albums by John Den-for!
Buy up gold and buy up art!
Stock up vital body parts!
Buy a car, a plane, a boat!
Buy a politician’s vote!
Buy a cop, who’s not expensive!
Buy a face that’s less offensive!
Level mountains! Ruin streams!
Finance all your wildest dreams!
Oh, wouldn’t you like to be rich!?
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!?
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!?
Wouldn’t you like to be rich!?
Wouldn’t you like to be,
Wouldn’t you like to be,
Wouldn’t you like to be-eeeeeeee,
Beeeeeeeee,
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Rich!?
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music (BMI)
DON’T SIT BACK
Sweets: Don’t sit back when things look black
Try to find the light
DB: Help your friends out now and then
And everything will work out right!
Cyrus: Don’t sit back if you are old
Plan a new attack!
Abigail: The sun is old and it works fine
Get out and shine! And don’t sit back!
Ensemble: Don’t sit back! Don’t sit back!
Don’t sit back! Don’t sit back!
Madam Fox Don’t sit back if you are rich
Be more gen’rous with your money
Wasp: You’ll be lonely if you’re stingy
Nasty: Folks like that don’t have much fun!
Sweets: Don’t get high and waste your life
Your brain gets choked with all that smoke
Algy: I know lots of dopes who died
And when you “croak” it ain’t no joke!
Chorus
Hot Top: Don’t sit back when life gets nutty
Get out there and crow!
Bunny: Do your best to help somebody
Who’s feelin’ down, who’s feelin’ low!
Elmer: Don’t give up when you’re afraid
Don’t sit back and “stall”! Get it?
Parson Pig: Well folks like that don’t make mistakes!
Queen Bee: They don’t make anything at all!
Chorus
Sweets: So don’t sit back depressed and helpless
Blinded by the wrongs you see
Make some changes and you’ll find
That you’ve got lots of energy!
Chorus
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music (BMI)